Q & A about Swinging

Q: Isn't swinging just a euphemism for "wife swapping"?

A: The problem with the term "wife swapping" is that it implies that the husbands are in control when, in fact, the wives are almost always the ones calling the shots. Swinging is most often a mutually beneficial agreement between two married women. If verbalized (and it NEVER is) the agreement would go something like this: "Look, my husband, lacking a monogamous bone in his body (i.e. being a typical male) is desperate to have sex with other women, and yours is too (otherwise we wouldn't be meeting for this drink, would we?) so here's the deal: you fuck mine, and I'll fuck yours (nothing personal, you understand) and maybe, just maybe, we'll give our men (and thereby ourselves) a little peace of mind. Whattaya say?"

Q: But aren't there exceptions?

A: As always. To name a few:

1). wives who are bi- or lesbian and whose main interest is having sex with other wives.

2) Bi- or gay husbands who want sex with other men.

3) Husbands who like watching their wives suck and fuck other men.

4) Women who want to be wanted (and had) by men other than their husbands.

5) Women trying (rather pathetically) to convince themselves that they are like characters in "Sex and the City" or whatever silly television show they have been watching.

The list goes on. However it is important to remember that the exception you will NOT find is the one everyone is searching for, namely, a woman who wants to fuck other men for the sheer pleasure of fucking them. If your interest in swinging is based on hopes of finding such a woman, you are bound to be disappointed.

Q. Are there many single females in the world of swinging?

A. The single female is the holy grail of the swingers' world. Nine out of ten couples are searching for her (the remaining ten percent know better than to look). Husbands want her for obvious reasons, the main one being that her single status will spare him from having to share his wife's sexual favors with another man. Swinging wives are interested in single females because they offer the possibility of getting their husbands laid without having to fuck other women's husbands in return (a chore that many swinging wives would prefer to avoid). And there are side benefits, the fantasy of having sex with two women at once, etc. But, as one swinging husband confided in me (while our wives conducted their silent negotiations), "Let me tell you, all these couples looking for a single female are fishing in an EMPTY POND."

Q: Are you saying that single females don't exist in the world of swinging?

A: A handful of single females will sometimes turn up at swingers clubs, where they are typically admitted for free (couples pay $40 and up to enter). Single females will even place ads on swingers personals sites, though most ads listed as "single female" are fictions created either by the site itself (to skew the demographics so that single female members seem far more numerous than they are and thereby attract more customers), or by hacks working for other adult sites, which hope to lure new members via invites from women who are highly attractive, seemingly uninhibited, but, alas, make-believe.

Keep in mind: the flesh-and-blood single females who show up at clubs are not simply looking for no-strings-attached sex. That would be absurd: being women, they can get sex easily enough without resorting to swinging. These women go to clubs for the nearly unlimited sexual power they possess in such places. The single female, being in such high demand, is the center of attention. Even an unattractive woman becomes irresistible when she comes to a swingers club alone, doubly so when she strips naked and pretends to be all hot and bothered.

Q: What about single males?

A: Single males are without question the vermin in the swinging world. They are common as dirt and treated as such. Most couples don't want anything to do with them, nor do single females.

Most clubs won't admit single males, and the clubs that do charge them several times the normal entry fee and severely restrict their numbers. This is essential to the survival of the club: nothing will drive away couples more quickly than an inundation of single males, all competing for a handful of wives (who, I assure you, will be far more irritated by their attentions than even their husbands). The swingers club that allows single males without limits will soon be attended by no one but single males, who will eventually catch on and search elsewhere. End of club.

On swingers personals sites, many couples will stipulate in all caps: NO SINGLE MALES. A waste of words. Driven by their desperation, single males will still bombard such couples with requests.

I could go on listing examples of how swingers despise the single male, but you get the point (and probably knew it already anyway).

Q: Does the single male stand no chance at all of getting laid in the world of swinging?

A: There are four ways a single male can get laid in the swingers' world:

1). The main way is to find a couple with a husband who wants to watch his wife suck and fuck another man. It is important to note however that the single male who takes this route will be performing solely for the husband's voyeuristic pleasure. The wife may pretend (never very convincingly) to enjoy a stranger's cock for the benefit of her husband's fantasy (which is the sole reason for her being there) but even minimal powers of observation will reveal that she doesn't give a shit about the man even as she inserts his dick into her pussy. She's there for her husband, folks, and no one else. Any single male naive enough to believe that he is there to provide her with the sexual fulfillment her husband is incapable of giving her is in for a rude awakening. Swinging wives are understandably hyper-alert to even the tiniest threats to their husbands' dignity, which they will defend with the ferocity of wildcats.

2) The second way for a single male to get laid (always an option for the sexually desperate man) is to go gay. Seek out a couple with a bi- or gay husband, let him suck your dick or whatever you're willing to do. Maybe he'll have his wife watch and finger herself. (Not that she will be very interested.)

3) The third and perhaps easiest way for the single male to get laid in the swingers' world is to pay for the service of one of the whores who use adult sites to advertise their services.

4) The last way is to overcome the obstacles designed to prevent single males from entering swinging clubs (see previous question) and hope things in the orgy room get so chaotic that no one will notice, or at least object, if you join in.

All of this is to say, for the single male, swinging is hardly worth the trouble. You'll do far better with the traditional methods of getting laid. In case you've forgotten, they work something like this: get a date, take her out to the movies and dinner. Treat her like a lady. Open doors for her, especially if she pretends to be beyond chivalry. If all goes well, after the third or fourth (or fifth or sixth) date, maybe she will decide you have enough potential as prospective boyfriend or husband to entice you to a tentative commitment with a little pussy.

Maybe.

Sorry guys. This is the plight of man. Accept it. Deal with it.

Q: Hi, I'd like to try swinging, and my wife seems willing, but deep down I'm afraid she'll discover that she likes some other guy's dick better than she does mine.

A: If you wife is willing to swing, chances are it's because she wants to make you happy. And if she wants to make you happy badly enough to fuck men she almost certainly doesn't give a shit about, it's because she loves you.

The oft-repeated fantasy of a wife meeting a stud in a swingers club hot tub, going ga-ga over his big dick, and—having completely forgotten her husband's existence—leading him by the hand to the nearest bedroom to get her brains fucked out (while all the club listens to her screams of ecstasy, etc.) is just that: FANTASY. (Check out the "Loving Wives" category here at Literotica for about twenty thousand examples). The most you have to fear (or rather hope for) is that your wife will once in a while manage to have a mild orgasm with another man despite her indifference to him. Even then, it will be an impersonal matter, to say the least. Swinging wives have a way of using men like human dildos—and making it clear that a regular plastic one would be more effective.

Q: My husband would like to try swinging, but I'm afraid he'll fall in love with another woman.

A. Men typically want to try swinging in hopes of finding a sexual freedom that has been denied to them in everyday life. Such hopes are bound to be dashed. There is no sexual freedom for men, not in the swingers' world nor anywhere else. Women hold the sexual power, and swinging, where women call all the shots, will only drive this point home. As likely as not, your husband will come away from swinging experiences realizing (if not openly admitting) that when it comes to sex, he is at the mercy of women—including you. Worry not about him falling in love, but rather about the disappointment, pain, and humiliation he is bound to experience.

Q: I don't get it. Why bother with swinging? Why not just have an open marriage?

A: As just about any swinging couple could tell you (but never will), a truly open marriage is impossible.

The reason is simple. If a married woman wants no-strings-attached sex, all she has to do is say so and men will line up. The chance she's offering them is, after all, rare: women who want no-strings-attached sex are about as common as blue roses. The men won't care if the woman in question is married or not. If anything, they will be happy to hear she's in an open marriage, as it suggests she really wants no commitment in return for her sexual favors (something that experience teaches men to believe with only the greatest reluctance).

If, on the other hand, you are a man in an open marriage, just try announcing the fact to your female friends (much less their husbands) and see how much pussy it gets you. Even the women who are (or were) attracted to you will steer clear once they learn that your marriage is open. You will be considered no longer "safe." You may get "the wrong idea." Wanting only sex, you are "shallow," not to mention creepy, as you are apparently willing to let other men fuck your wife.

Of course a man always has the option of suggesting that his marriage is not just open but "on the rocks." In short, he can get pussy by the time-honored techniques of lying and deception. But, contrary to popular belief, most guys don't want to be total assholes. They just want sex—which is the one thing they cannot have, not without paying the price.

Men must always pay a price. They may pay with commitment or, at least, the promise (real or false) of the possibility of commitment. They may pay with hard cash or the nice things it can buy. Or, in the case of swinging, they may barter the sexual favors of their wives. Of course most husbands don't start swinging thinking it will be this way. They fall for the women-want-to-swing-just-as-much-as-men-do argument, only to discover in the end that it's bullshit.

Q: Are you all-out against swinging?

A: On the contrary, I would go so far as to say that swinging saved my life. Swinging revealed to me the sexual reality that our society is so intent on denying. This reality may be bleak and oppressive, but that's all the more reason why it should be acknowledged. Otherwise, there is no way to be prepared for it or prevent ourselves from being crushed by it. Without swinging, it is very possible that I would not be here.