Two fucking years

Two fucking years I analyzed your glare,
Your rule, your authority your role
Two fucking years I dreamed to submit to your control
Your orders I fantasized about obeying
I cried during solo orgasms when I thought about behaving
Two fucking years I kept you on my mind
I wrote books and poems filled with dirt and carnal lines
I kept myself very occupied
Some might have said I wasted all my time
All along I was crazed and obsessed
And I really had myself believing it was for the best
Because despite what a motivating factor sex can be
It went deeper it was fucking mental the hold you had on me
I felt safe and secure knowing what to do
And all the long pretending I was out just to please you
I fucking even did better in school
When if it wasn't for you I would be sleeping covered in drool
In all reality we are animals
No matter how civilized we claim to be
I let my sexual instincts possess me
Far enough to cross the lines
And commit what the bible or society labels
'crimes"
It seemed I walked into a dream
And spoke to you one on one
about things not involving profession or college or drugs
We spoke about my life even though sex was the goal
Never in a million years would I have thought that's how it would go
You touched me
And said my name
And told me how to touch you
And then you came
It symbolized the tension
The drive I had for success
And boy was it a mess
After you had expelled
So did all the rest
All I had to expect
The dream I have, its over
I always imagined being more depressed
On the day you and I would loose respect
Perhaps in the end it really all was just a test