- Non-Erotic Poetry
- Love in a Minor Key
Note: You can change font size, font face, and turn on dark mode by clicking the "A" icon tab in the Story Info Box.
You can temporarily switch back to a Classic Literotica® experience during our ongoing public Beta testing. Please consider leaving feedback on issues you experience or suggest improvements.
Click here
Negombo. Here, too, the hot
night lies cold
on my pillow, dread,
longing, despair
my constant companions.
You are asleep – even
when awake you won't
listen to the song of the stars
through my ears,
nor look at the night
through my eyes...
your distance
paints frost ferns
on the walls
of my heart. You
call that love.
(Negombo is a town north of Colombo, on the hot Sri Lankan West Coast.)
- COMMENTS
greenmountaineerover 11 years agoI can't much to the prior comments, except Dawn J's were particularly astute, and the poem's diction was captivating.
tazz317over 11 years agoI MEANT NO DISRESPECT TO EITHER THE COUNTRY OR THE PEOPLE, THE POLITICALLY CORRECT TERMS, I USE THEM TO MAKE A STATEMENT. I HAVE BEEN IN SEVERAL COUNTRIES, MEXICO, PHILLIPINES, PORT LYAUTEY F.W. MORROCO which isnt even there now. ENGLAND, FRANCE, GERMANY, SCOTLAND, KOREA, CHINA, THE CARIBBEAN, SPAIN, ITALY etc I HAVE OBSERVED YOUNG AND OLD ALIKE, IN LOVE i hope and the way they court and in being together. SOME ARE MORE OPEN THAN OTHERS BUT DEFINITELY, LOVE WAS IN THE AIR. tk u mlj lv nv
DawnJover 11 years ago...yes, we do. Not in the sense of being human -- in that regard, we are all the same under the skin -- but in the sense of being considered/lableled/treated as lesser, as lacking those essentials that make life meaningful. Our existence shows that First World perceptions of reality, of truth, are flawed at best, aside from being prejudiced. But love is powerful, wherever it lives, and life is precious, however it is lived.
Desejoover 11 years agoWith 1201 - this is very good. I like the contrasting words and the overall sense of distance and loneliness. The final line is particularly strong. The title is also interesting and adds an aural dimension of sadness to the poem. I guess it's a service to tell the readers where Negombo is, but I'd have just left it unsaid in hopes that real readers would google it -- it never hurts to get people to think and maybe learn something new. You are probably just a nicer person than I am (smile). Well done.
