Ballad of the Midnight Crack Whore

I was over in a dank bar on Sunset
Think’en a how to get my dick wet
When a gal came and sat next to me
Just after I went to pee
I thought the Jolene was kinda’ sweet
She didn’t smell, could stand on her feet
She talked a blue streak, tons of info-mater
‘bout how she used to be a bond trader
Worked for that outfit very famous up
In San Fran that turned out corrupt
Says the loss really fucked up
Her career so now she drinks beer
And if you wanna’ fling
She had a room upstairs where you could ping
That was euphonious for fucking, I imagined
So after a beer or three, her hand upon my knee
Moving up quick to the arena of my dick
I took her up on the offer of midnight spice
We adjured to an upstairs room that was nice
Had a bathroom in the corner and drapes
Windows covered with baby blue lace
The walls were kind of checker board
The bed had shakes on a wooden floor
But what the fuck, it would do’er
For a quick lay when I screwed’er
“Forty bucks for the fuck”
That was fair, she promised a suck
I threw two twenties on the bed
She grabbed them up without hesitation
Then asked for a minute of preparation
She went in the bathroom; I disrobed a bit slow intentionally
Watched a bit of the television documentary
About some poor kid who made it big
In Hollywood in some weird rig
Playing a guitar inside some coffee bar
Discovered by some disco star
But wait, where’s the chick I came to fuck?
Did she slip out the door, my damn luck?
I quietly walked to the corner door
And looked through the slit where the door was bent
There she was sitting on the john
She still had her blouse and miniskirt on
And in her hand a small glass pipe
And a butane lighter that didn’t work
Oh Jesus I am a jerk
She’s an addict tried and true
“I really have no wish to be fucking you”
She came storming out; her brain was in a tizzy
“Just a minute hon and we’ll get busy”
She still held the forty in her mitt
I no longer gave a shit
So I reached out to try a grab for it
She let out a howl; this was her way of crying foul
I had gotten one of the twenties in my grip
And we were ‘rastling for the other
When I thought, hey brother, let her keep it as a tip
I threw on my cloths and headed for the door
She blocked it, she wanted more
“Listen bitch, you kept me a half hour waiting
I’m in no mood for debat’en
I can be nice or I can be the roughest
And even out your crooked smile with a fist”
She was miss’en a tooth or four
I forgot to mention that before
She saw that without a gun or knife
She had no chance to take my life
She stepped back and I exited the room
Neither one ready for the tomb
So fellows take some advice from me
Some whores ain’t what they look to be
Not everything you see at a quarter to three
Will look as fine on it’s behind
Don’t look for bargains in dark bar rooms
Head up town with some extra dough
If you need a blowjob you know
There’s fancy girls in fancy places
Those do their job with their faces
Or you get the choice of cunt or ass
Just pay the money and try to last
So you get a few more minutes of what you desire
Before your balls set you on fire
As long as you don’t take too long to cum
Otherwise you’ll have to finish your self with your thumb
Or all the fingers on one hand
The girls will laugh as you beat the band
On the other hand, if it’s your tact
Go see Jolene and smoke some crack