Note: You can change font size, font face, and turn on dark mode by clicking the "A" icon tab in the Story Info Box.
You can temporarily switch back to a Classic Literotica® experience during our ongoing public Beta testing. Please consider leaving feedback on issues you experience or suggest improvements.
Click hereThis is my first attempt at writing erotica, so all comments, suggestions, and ideas are welcome! Thanks everyone :)
I can't tell you how long I've waited for this moment. You're finally here, no hesitation, no second thoughts. You told me once that you were worried about taking my innocence, but honey, I'm anything but innocent. I've wanted to please you for so long and I can't believe I finally got my chance.
It started with a kiss. We were talking, laughing, just relaxing next to each other on the couch. I accepted a long time ago that there was never going to be anything else between us, but I always wanted more. We were having a great time when you suddenly trailed off midthought. When I asked you what was the matter, you didn't answer, you just continued looking at me like you had never seen me before. I decided to take a risk. Heart pounding, I leaned in and gave you a gentle kiss. I worried that I had crossed a line and immediately pulled back, but you pulled me back in and kissed me deeply. I had never been kissed like that before, not even close.
I let you have control at first, but I wanted so bad to prove to you that you weren't taking advantage of me. I took over and pushed you against the arm of the couch. I moved off your lips to your neck, kissing and nibbling my way to your ear. I heard you let out a soft grunt as I nibbled on your ear. I knew I had you then. I continued my licking, sucking, and kissing back down your neck until I found your collarbone, which this time elicited a long sigh. Impatiently I pulled your shirt over your head and made my way to your chest, then down your stomach. You groaned and I smiled into your stomach as you slid your fingers into my hair.
Now here I am, fingers on your belt buckle, trying frantically to get it undone. I can tell you're at least as excited as I am judging by the huge bulge in your jeans. I finally unbuckle your belt, undo the button on your jeans, unzip your fly, and pull off your jeans. I look up at you like a little slut while I stroke you through your boxers, then drop my gaze down to the large cock straining to get out of your boxers. I briefly kiss you through the fabric, but I'm impatient, and soon your boxers join your jeans on the floor. I take a moment just to look at your beautiful cock and steady my nerves for what I'm about to do. I love sucking cock, as I've told you more than once, but this time it's you and I'm suddenly nervous. All that leaves me though when you sigh my name and
run your fingers through my hair; I know you want this just as much as I do.
I take your gorgeous cock into my mouth, gently at first. I flick my tongue over the tip and swirl it around a few times before I let my lips slide down your shaft. I come back up, slide my wet tongue all over the tip, and slide down again, getting your cock nice and wet. My hand circles the base of your shaft and squeezes while I pump you, slowly at first, then faster. I move my mouth down to your big balls, sliding my tongue along the crease between them then gently taking one in my mouth. You moan as I swirl my tongue around and suck on it, then move over to the other for the same treatment.
At this point, your cock is hard as a rock. I rub your cock on my lips like I'm putting on lipstick, then slap your now saliva-coated cock against my cheek. I bob up and down a few times before I slowly take all of you in my mouth, gagging a little as you hit the back of my throat. I continue alternating between taking you all the way into my mouth, sliding up and down, and pulling back to swirl my tongue around the tip. Occasionally I pull back very slowly, sucking so that, when my lips finally leave your cock, they do so with a loud pop. It's not long before my efforts are rewarded with loud grunts and a long moan as you stiffen and cum for me. I swallow every drop of your delicious cum and lick my lips as I look up at you, suddenly shy.
You pull me up and kiss me deeply and I wonder if you find the taste of your cum on my tongue as hot as I do. You stand up, taking my hand, and lead me back to my bedroom. I can only hope you'll give me many more opportunities to please you. You wouldn't be so cruel as to deny me of that joy, would you?
Short, sweet and exciting... Just how it should be when friends finally become lovers.
Regards,
nedthebundler
Unusual to write in 2nd person, feels a bit forced - but so's poetry. I liked it for being different.. Nice it's not just a quick penetration too. And great finish, leaving it to readers imagination!
Maybe use a few more pronouns.
You don't need dialogue, but give us more on yours & his feelings to balance all the physical detail.
The guy's pretty passive, then does stuff like pull you up and kiss you and take you to the bedroom. Make him passive or active, or explain why he varies (eg shocked at your lechery)
Odd para split near the top.
Looking forward to next story!
I can't comment on whether or not it was well-written, because I read no further than the first sentence because I cannot stand stories written "to me", as though I am in them. It just seems so forced and artificial. It may be just a personal preference on my part, but I would probably have read it had you not used that shtick.
Congrats on writing your first, though!
Add dialogue.
Make us feel it's happening NOW!!
(Good first try, though. :+))
So far, so good. Not overly graphic, but definitely had the desired effect on me. Pretty good for your first try. Waiting for the next one.