- Erotic Poetry
- Taken by darkness
Note: You can change font size, font face, and turn on dark mode by clicking the "A" icon tab in the Story Info Box.
You can temporarily switch back to a Classic Literotica® experience during our ongoing public Beta testing. Please consider leaving feedback on issues you experience or suggest improvements.
Click here
Taken by darkness - a quality
that lies not in force, but in the mind,
as when, for instance, she undresses
a completely counterfeit smile, which
seeks both to deceive and deny - it
is the meeting of harsh instruments
and flesh which challenges memories,
tells revelations of nakedness,
and soon shows the world, vivid, red marks,
which dwindle into transparency
with passing time. While recollection
of all the crying and the twisting,
fades; as do the streaked shadows of tears;
she surrenders, once more, to smiles with
their counterfeit force: but, in the mind,
she stays on fire, taken by darkness...
- COMMENTS
Angelinealmost 11 years agoIt's rather spare and I feel there aren't wasted words. I'm not overly fond of ending with ellipsis points: not sure what purpose they serve. I might move a few line breaks and tinker a bit otherwise, but really I'm nitpicking as these may just be my preferences. Overall I like that the poem is so open to interpretation because there is (to me) a clear erotic story being told here, but also a thematic message about appearance and deception. Really good stuff SO. Thank you for the read. :-)
twelveoonealmost 11 years agothis is good:
she undresses
a completely counterfeit smile
which makes this a bit redundant:
which seeks both to deceive and deny
excellent:
it is the meeting of harsh instruments
question:
taken by darkness
as the main phrase and title
