Confessions of a College Cocksucker Ch. 01

I'm a twenty-two year-old, Chinese-American female. I'm 5'2" and quite slim, but I have wide hips and a big butt. My breasts are really small (A-cup bras are usually too big for me), and I'm somewhat ashamed of them. But I do have sensual almond-shaped eyes and perfectly clear, soft skin. My straight-black hair falls down to my shoulders, but I usually wear it tied up in a clip. I just graduated from college. Grad school starts in another month, so for now I'm alone and bored in a strange new city. To help pass the time, I decided to reflect on the sexual transformation that occurred within me during my undergraduate years. Reliving my former exploits should save me from going out of my mind until the rest of the students start showing up and the fun can begin again. And maybe others can learn from my experience, or at least take some enjoyment from my stories.

First off, a confession: I am completely addicted to sucking cock. Simply stated, I love giving blowjobs. I'm at my happiest when I have a stiff, spongy dick in my mouth and a warm scrotum in one hand while I stroke his shaft with the other, as he runs his fingers through my hair or forces my face down into his pubic hair. That combination of submission and domination, simultaneously serving him and controlling his pleasure, bowing my head down in worship before the god I am devouring, that's my natural high, that's what I look forward to at the end of a rough day or a long week.

It wasn't always this way. I was raised in a typical, affluent, suburban, Asian-American household. My parents never taught me anything about sex, and nothing sexual was ever discussed in our home. My friends were all over-ambitious Asians like myself, driven by a sense of obligation to our education-obsessed parents. We studied together, practiced music together, and performed in school plays together. But we never dated, partied, or "fooled around" like all our white classmates were doing. Looking back, it was probably for the best, as all that studying and hard work paid off with a full scholarship to a top university. That's where my adventures began.

Most of the freshmen students moved in on a hot, humid morning in August. I don't remember much about that first day, but before I knew it, our parents were gone and it was just me and my roommate, a buxom blonde from the Midwest, sitting alone together in the dour, concrete prison that would serve as our home for the next ten months.

Her name was Samantha. I could tell right from the beginning that she didn't like me. She wanted to party, and she suspected I'd be a constant downer, based on all the typical Asian stereotypes. Her disdain for me was evident on her face. She already had friends whom she had met during orientation stopping by, other suburban white kids like herself. The girls were bitchy, spoke in whiny, nasal voices, and obviously wanted nothing to do with me. The guys were mostly clean-cut and plain-looking, except for one athletic guy with black hair, broad shoulders, and a wild look in his eyes. "He's so hot!" Samantha confided to me after he left. She wanted him to be her boyfriend, and he knew it.

Despite all this, I couldn't bear to go out and "do what I was supposed to do": seek out other Asians and form a little ethnic clique. I was tired of that. No, I was going to be independent from now on, my own person, no longer a stereotype.

The result of my determination was weeks and weeks of intense loneliness. Samantha was always having her friends over, so I tried to stay out of the room as much as possible. When I wasn't in class, I was by myself in the library, throwing myself into my studies. "It's important that you start off strong," I kept telling myself, "build up a solid GPA so you can get into grad school." When things aren't going well in real life, school is a convenient way to distract yourself from your misery. But the swelling pit of loneliness in my stomach just wouldn't go away, no matter how hard I tried.

Eventually, I started living vicariously through Samantha. I would listen in on her phone conversations, pretending to be studying. Things seemed to be progressing rather well with that guy from orientation, Tom. They were going out together several nights a week, and Samantha excitedly told her friends the she thought he liked her. Then, one night as I was walking back to our room from the library, I saw Samantha and Tom kissing in front of the door. Embarrassed, I turned back toward the elevator until I heard his footsteps walking away. "Hi," I said shyly, as he strutted by. A cool "hey" was his only reply.

By now I had grown somewhat jealous of Samantha. She already had a hot boyfriend, and I was alone and desolate, without friends even, let alone romance. She was also really pretty, and seeing her every day made me self-conscious about my own shortcomings. I dreaded having to change my clothes in front of her, and made it a point to do so only when she wasn't around. She, however, seemed to enjoy getting naked in front of me, proudly showing off her hot body. She worked hard to maintain it, exercising intensely on a daily basis. I saw Samantha nude just about every morning when she got dressed, and then again every night when she came out of the shower after the gym.

Samantha's breasts were phenomenal. She had perky C-cups, perfectly shaped pale globes with puffy pink areolas. Her body was tight and athletic, with only a hint of baby fat around her belly and hips. Her butt was firm and round, her legs long and shapely. The first time I saw her shaved pussy, I was shocked. It looked so barren, so naked. Mine hadn't looked like that since before puberty. But she didn't have a hair in sight, so that her thick bald lips protruded prominently between her legs. And there I was, short with no tits, a fat, flabby butt, and a dark pubic forest hiding my vagina. I felt ashamed.

One evening Samantha surprised me and barged in while I was changing into my pajamas. "Oh, sorry!" she snorted as she quickly closed the door and stepped inside. Luckily, there was no one in the hallway, as I was standing completely naked in the middle of the room. I looked at Samantha, and I could tell that here eyes were looking up and down my body, sizing me up. I felt terrified. Her gaze dwindled for a moment on my pubic hair. "Wow, so much hair!" she laughed, before going about her business, unpacking her books. Humiliated, I quickly pulled up my panties, put on my shorts and t-shirt, and went to the bathroom to cry for a few minutes, before another girl came in and inadvertently chased me back to my room.

Things seemed to be getting progressively worse. One night Samantha came home late after a party. Tom was with her. "Shhhh!" she whispered, "my roommate's asleep!" They were too loud, and woke me up instantly. Not wanting a confrontation, I kept quiet, but watched with my eyes open. The room was dark enough that they couldn't tell I was awake, but not so dark that I couldn't see what was going on, thanks to a bright streetlight that shined through the curtains. "I think she's still asleep," Samantha surmised. "Just be quiet, ok?" Tom didn't say a word. With pulsating heart, I watched as he removed his shoes, undid his jeans, and pulled down his boxers. I could clearly see his large, erect penis protruding from his groin area. Samantha got totally naked, pulled back the covers, and laid Tom down. Kneeling between his legs, she gripped his dick in one hand, resting the other on his muscular stomach, and bowed her head down, swallowing his shaft. Mesmerized, I watched as Samantha worked her mouth up and down Tom's dick, making messy slurping noises as Tom let out the occasional suppressed groan.

I was getting really turned on. Quietly, I slid my hand down my shorts and started rubbing my pussy. Masturbation was a pleasure that I had recently discovered in my loneliness, one that often helped me fall asleep at night. Now, already wet from watching Samantha and Tom, I began rubbing faster and faster as my roommate brought her boyfriend closer to orgasm. I couldn't believe how she could swallow his whole cock, brushing her nose against his abdomen. Tom's grunts became more intense, until he finally let out a long low moan, his body shaking in spasmodic pleasure. Hearing him come set me off as well, and I did my best to suppress my own moans while I silently climaxed, sending ripples of pleasure radiating outward from my clitoris and across my body. Samantha never moved her mouth from his cock, but instead gulped down every last drop of his semen. There must have been a lot, as it took her several swallows. Within moments afterward, the three of us were sound asleep.

Tom leaving the next morning woke me up. He was gone by the time I got out of bed. Samantha said "hey" and I gave her a knowing smile, but she wasn't apologetic and never asked my permission if she could bring a guy home to sleep in my room. I felt like a piece of garbage. I couldn't let this continue much longer, and started strategically planning a way out, a way to change the direction my college life was heading.

There was one tiny glimmer of hope in my otherwise dreary existence, a cute boy from my chemistry lab named Brad. He started talking to me on the first day of class, and we continued making small talk from then on. As luck would have it, our last names were in alphabetical order, so we shared a lab station and were designated as lab partners, meaning that we'd have to collaborate on assignments. We exchanged phone numbers, and spent a few evenings together in study rooms at the library, completing last-minute lab reports. Brad was really handsome, with short light-brown hair and blue eyes. While he didn't seem to have much of a personality, he was at least friendly and agreeable enough to be around. So when he asked me to go see a movie one Thursday night, I figured, what the hell. The film was stupid, but he seemed to enjoy it, so there wasn't much conversation afterward. He walked me home, and I pretty much expected that that would be it.

When I got back to my room, I found a note from Samantha, just letting me know that she was staying at Tom's and so wouldn't be home that night. That was at least considerate of her to let me know, I thought.

Despite the quiet, I still had trouble falling asleep, as usual. I tried turning to my trusted friend masturbation, but I just couldn't get into it. I needed something more than just myself. I couldn't stop thinking about Samantha sucking Tom off the other night. For once, I actually wished they were both here, so I could watch them again. Frustrated, I got out of bed and went to the computer. A quick search for "blowjob videos" brought me to a clip of an attractive Japanese woman kneeling in between a white man's spread legs. The man was holding the camera, so that his head was not in the picture. For all intents and purposes, he was just a big, erect cock.

The man had no pubic hair, just a long, thick, hairless dick and a tightly snug pair of hairless balls. The woman was really pretty, and I was somewhat comforted by the fact that her breasts were only modest B-cups. What mostly mattered here was her mouth, however. The man fed her his dick and she hungrily devoured it, slurping and sucking while emitting cute sighs, grunts, and giggles, as if she were tasting the most delicious thing in the world. She made sucking dick look like so much fun, and she especially seemed to enjoy sucking on his balls, taking one testicle and then the other entirely into her mouth, tugging gently on his scrotum with her lips while the man stroked himself.

I came before I could get to the end of the video. As I lie in bed drifting off into sleep, I made a promise to myself: I was going to suck dick tomorrow, one way or another, no matter what.