Fly Fishing - A Two Act Play

I realize that this won't be everyone's cup of tea since I'm making you fill in the story with actors and scenery yourselves. The typical porno is a silly set up with no dialogue where the characters just start fucking. We enjoy roll playing and thought it important to start with the dialogue first and then fill in the acting and fucking ourselves. It has been a BLAST making our own little plays. This is one of our favorites! So for all you horny little actors out there... make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, get on those knee high waders, learn your lines, grab the cam-corder and go make a porno! I'm sure there will be tons of excited people willing to watch!

SCENE 1:

Location: Late on a warm fall morning an older gentleman wades through a mountain river with his waders on, slinging a fly fishing rod.

Jerry- (with warm feeling, said with a whisper)

"I bet I caught every one of you gorgeous fish this season.... I'm not sure how much longer we'll get to do this with winter coming on... "

(He slings out a perfect cast, but catches a glimpse of a woman walking the bank on his back cast. His form drops and the fly sinks into the back of his head.)

Jerry – "SHIT!"

(Embarrassed, for the outbreak he looks around with his eyes and drops his head. He winds in the line and plods to the shore. When he reaches the shore he sets his pole gently in the grass and reaches back to find the fish hook in the back of his head.)

Lisa- "Hold on... Let me help you."

(She puts her right hand on his shoulder and reaches for the hook, gently cradling his head in her hand. She pulls out the hook and rubs the sore spot.)

Jerry- (rambling nervously) "It serves me right.... Being a dumb guy..... getting distracted by a pretty figure........ at my age....." "Thank you miss...."

(He turns to face his nurse to see that she is wearing nothing but hip waders and a fly fishing vest.)

Jerry- (stuttering and screaming)

"HOY SHIT! Uh.. uh.. uh.. IT'S BALD!"

(He turns bright red from embarrassment.)

Lisa- (grinning) "God! It's just a PUSSY! I'd hate to see how you react to a RATTLE SNAKE!"

(He stares into her cleavage.)

Lisa- (beaming) "I see you've met the girls......"

Jerry- (shakes himself) "Huh.... What?"

Lisa- "I seem to have gotten you all hot and bothered."

Jerry- (stuttering) "uh, well... It's not scarry. NO! they're magnificent. What? Pussy? I'm really not... It's just that you... rattle snakes? What?"

Lisa-(smiling) "Wow! You really know how to sweet talk a girl!"

Jerry- "...nothing I can say will make me look like a hero at this point... huh?"

Lisa- "Nope. You've pretty well identified yourself as a pussy..."

Jerry- "I guess that's ok then. Some of my favorite animals are pussies.."

Jerry-(sheepishly) "So... can I ask what you're doing out here in the woods without clothes on?"

Lisa-(in a smart ass tone) "Well I guess since you've been staring at my pussy and boobs for the last ten minutes, you could try and get to know me...."

(Sticks out her arm to shake hands. A breast shifts into view)

"My name is Lisa."

Jerry (shaking her hand vigorously, watching her breasts bounce) "VERY Pleased to meet you Lisa...."

(finally looking back into her face)

"I'm Jerry..."

Lisa - "Hi Jerry"

"Would you like me to turn around so you can get a good look?"

Jerry - "Yeah.... Uh.... sure.... What..? OH! I'm sorry! It's just that you're SOO incredibly BEAUTIFUL and I can't STOP looking at you!"

Lisa- "Well, if you put it that way... feel free to stare!"

"You like my pussy?

Jerry- "It's bald. It's breath taking! Do you always keep it shaved like that?"

Lisa - "Yeah, my men seem to like it that way, and when it's shaved they seem to spend more time down there, which I like!

Jerry- "Men?"

Lisa - "Yeah, I keep a couple of men around. I like my independence and so I live alone, but it's nice to have a guy buy me dinner and give me an orgasm a couple of times a week.

Jerry- "Dinner and an orgasm?!"

Lisa - "I know. Right! Pretty sweet gig!"

Jerry- "And they keep coming back?"

Lisa - "Well, not to brag, but I'm a very GIVING lover. What they give me, I return in kind. Ten fold!"

Jerry- "Ok, so that does sound a little like bragging...."

Lisa - "They come back because I'm a GREAT lay Jerry!"

Jerry- "Hey no arguments, I'm sure you are very skilled. So what does a guy need to do to be a part of your harem?"

Lisa - "Make me laugh.."

Jerry- "So have you heard the one about the pickle slicer?"

Lisa - "What?

Jerry- "No really! There was this guy who was working in a food processing plant and one day he comes home to his wife and confesses that he has these perverse thoughts about sticking his dick in the pickle slicer. She begs him to put the ideas out of his head. One afternoon she comes home and he's sitting on the couch. "What're you doing home?" she asks. "Well remember how I told you about the pickle slicer and stuff. Well I couldn't resist it any longer and it just sorta happened this morning. And of course, that's when the boss walked in! I got fired." "What! You DIDN'T! What did.... How's your... What about the pickle slicer?!" "Yeah, she got fired too...."

Lisa - "Ohhhh kayyy..?" That the best you got?"

Jerry- ""Why did God invent women? He needed some way to get the sperm from the bed to the toilet!"

Lisa - "That's pretty good! An A for effort Jerry...."

Jerry- "So does that mean I pass? Can I be a part of your harem?

Lisa - "Well.... It depends of what you brought for lunch.....'

Jerry- "OH. Well, what would you say to fresh cucumber sandwiches on homemade rye bread with fried chicken breasts, homemade barbeque chips, raspberry ice tea, and cream puffs for desert?"

Lisa - "You brought that for lunch fishing?"

Jerry- "No. I just thought it sounded really good. I've got peanut butter and jelly with chips and carrot sticks back at the car."

Lisa - "Funny!!!! Just so you know, I love peanut butter and jelly!"

Jerry- "WOW! A girl after my own heart! Breathtakingly beautiful AND easy to please!"

Lisa - "I'm only easy to please if you put forth the effort to amuse me! Then I'll give you the instructions on how to make my knees weak!"

Jerry- "UGGHH. Did I mention I was a good student!"

Lisa - "Did you always try to make your teachers happy?"

Jerry- "The girl ones I did!"

Lisa - "Well then.... Take me to your car!"

Jerry- "Hey.... Lisa?"

Lisa - "Yes Jerry?"

Jerry- "Do you mind walking in front of me?"

Lisa - "Why? You need me to protect you from the rattle snakes?!"

Jerry- "Well, yes that too, but I've enjoyed looking at the front of you. Do you mind if I watch the back?"

Lisa - "If you promise not to fall and break your head! I really want that peanut butter and jelly sandwich!"

Jerry- "Hey, Lisa?"

Lisa - "Yes Jerry."

Jerry- "How do you know that I'm not a rapist or serial killer?"

Lisa - "Well, for starters, rapists aren't afraid of pussies, and serial killers don't drive Subaru wagons!"

Jerry- "How do you know what I drive?"

Lisa - "I saw your car when I pulled up. I figured you were either a very practical uptight old man, or a lesbian. Either way, sounded like fun!"

Jerry- "You came looking for me?"

Lisa - "Well I wanted to see who was stealing my fish. Why are you regretting it already?"

Jerry- "NO! ...and I don't take the fish. I just catch them, rub them on the head and throw them back..."

Lisa - "Kinda like what I do with my men.......

End Scene 1

SCENE 2:

Location: A gravel parking lot off of an unpaved mountain road. There are two cars parked in the lot. A blue Subaru station wagon and a white Toyota pickup.

Jerry- "I've got a blanket in the back of my car. Should we maybe set it out in that clearing over there?"

Lisa - "Wow Jerry, you really know how to seduce a girl! A blanket in the woods and a peanut butter sandwich! Where were you all my life?

Jerry- "Been right here fishing.... Did I do ok with the sandwich?"

Lisa - "You're kidding right? How can you screw up a peanut butter sandwich?"

Jerry- "You'd be surprised. My last wife couldn't make scrambled eggs. I did the cooking."

Lisa - "That's pretty progressive for a guy your age! You little home maker! No wonder you're afraid of pussy."

Jerry- " Nah. I just really like to cook. And I REALLY like your pussy. It's all shiny in the sun! Perfect shape and so pink!"

Lisa - "It's shiny because it likes you!"

Jerry- "Would it mind if I touched it?"

Lisa - "You don't need a written invitation do you?"

Jerry- "Wow! It's so hot! I mean it's so soft and smooth, and the inside is so WARM!

How's the sandwich?"

Lisa - "Uhhhhh ohhhh it feels good....."

Jerry- "The sandwich?"

Lisa - "Of course the sandwich you dork!"

Jerry- "If you lay back, I'll finish you while you finish your lunch..... Mmmmm. You taste like raspberry jelly!"

Lisa - "HMMMmmmm.... That's nice....."

Jerry- "I love your little clit! It's poking out all angry and shit!"

Lisa - "You're making it mad!"

Jerry- "Ok.... I'll kiss it on the head......"

Lisa - "HMMmmm..... she likes your kisses......"

Jerry- "Lean back some more..... Wait! Put my coat under your hips, so I can spend a few minutes down here..."

Lisa - "HMMMMMNNN that feels really good.... Swirl your tongue some more! Now kiss my clit again....... YES! Right THERE! You ARE a good student!"

(he sticks a finger in his mouth then pops it into her ass)

Lisa - "OOOOOOhhhhhhh! Jerry! You're a naughty boy! How'd you know I'd like that! OK! Now push it in deeper! Now put another one in! OHHHHHHhhh mmMMMMNNnnn

I'm getting close JerrrRRRyyYY...

SUCK! SucK My CLittT!! suuuuuuUUUCKKK!!!"

Jerry- "That was REALLY Hot! You're a sex Goddess!"

Lisa - "You're quite the linguist Jerry!"

Jerry- "Years of practice gotta count for something!"

Lisa - "So....... I want to return the favor.... How do you want me to make you cum?!"

Jerry- "REALLY!? Well.... Ever since I saw that perfect bald pussy, all I've wanted to do is stick my dick in it!"

Lisa - "Pull off your pants and I'll get on top of you....."

Jerry- "Ohhhh damn! That feeeeeeels GOOD! It's so HOT!"

Lisa - "You like it fast or slow?"

Jerry- "Work me over slow for a while..... I want to feel you....."

Lisa - "You like my breasts?"

Jerry- "OHHHHHhhhhh... They're perfect. Perfect little gum drop nipples!"

Lisa - "Does this feel good?"

Jerry- "Oh baby! You make an old man feel like he's twenty again......"

Lisa - "Your cock doesn't feel old! It feels like steel. You've got good circulation old man! How's your heart?"

Jerry- "Doctor says I'm clean as a whistle. He says I could last another fifty years......"

Lisa - "Well then...... Let's get that heart pumping!"

Jerry- "Wait.... Wait.... Let me get on top for a bit......"

Lisa - "You want me on my back or my knees......."

Jerry- "How about on your knees for a bit..... then I'll finish you missionary?......

Oh SHIT! You feel GOOOD! You have the perfect ASSSsssss....."

Lisa - "You'll make a girl blush.........."

Jerry- "Oh SHITTTTT! How did you get so strong! It feels like you could cut it in half......"

Lisa - "Hey old man..... You getting close? You promised me you'd finish me missionary!"

Jerry- "You better roll over then, cause I can't take much more of thISSSS......"

Lisa - "There you go Baby.... You feel really good in me...."

Jerry- "You're so beautifFFFUULLLL!!!!"

Lisa - "Ok..... Now push.... PUSH.... PUSSSSHHHHH!!!! Oh SHIT! You're good! Can you cook as good as you fuck?!"

Jerry- "My ex said I was a better cook....."

Lisa - "You must be one HELLLL of a good cook cause that was Amazing!"

Jerry- "Ok. So now I KNOW you're just trying to make me feel good!"

Lisa - "Well... I want to encourage good behavior! What kind of a teacher would I be if I didn't encourage my students?"

Jerry- "You're my favorite teacher EVER!"

Lisa - "Hey Jerry....."

Jerry- "Yeah?"

Lisa - "I think I leaked on your jacket...."

Jerry- "You didn't make it to the toilet.... God's gonna be mad at you!

So, Lisa...."

Lisa - "Yes Jerry?"

Jerry- "Does this mean I get to buy you diner and give you orgasms?"

Lisa - "Well... my schedule's kinda full in the evenings....... But I don't work on Tuesdays and Wednesdays.... How'd you like to come over and cook me breakfast and give me orgasms all morning?

Jerry- "REALLY!?! I'd love to!"

Lisa - "You better follow me to the house so you know the way..... I've got food. You can make yourself lunch, and we can continue the lessons.........'

Jerry- "And the fish......"

Lisa - "You can rub them on the head some other day....... right now, I want you to rub ME!"

-The End-