O Christmas Elf

sung to the tune of 'O Tannenbaum'

O, Christmas time… O, Christmas time,
The malls are full and crowded.
In lines we stand to beat the band.
We pay the prices touted.

In Nordstrom's bar, I saw an elf
With long blonde hair, admiring self.
At this 'Ol time, she looked sublime
I smiled at her and shouted…

* * *

"Do you get off at quarter 'til?"
She smiled at me and paid her bill.
Her lips were full, breasts fuller still.
She saw my eyes and flouted.

"At Santa's house, I work 'til six
With reindeer, kids and surly pricks.
If you can wait, while shop time ticks,
I'll try to get re-routed."

* * *

I watched her hair, tried not to stare
She blushed her cheeks, then pouted.
With lipstick red, her lips she spread.
My mind went blank and clouded.

"I need a ride to get me home.
If you would like, please come along."
She pushed a card into my palm,
Her page and cel -- no doubted.

* * *

I watched her sway and walk away
I felt exposed and outted.
But waiting calmed me down a bit,
I thought of tile I'd grouted.

And then she was right next to me
On leather seats of luxury.
She closed the door and one-two-three
Her lips kissed mine so naughtily.

* * *

In minutes, we were sexily
Embraced in her bed, clothing free.
We made elf love beneath her tree
While Yule logs burned, excitedly.

She had a million toys for bed.
Her body went right to my head.
I savored her like buttered bread,
Then fell asleep like I was dead.

* * *

In morning light, I had to fight
To get my wits about me.
She wasn't there and did she care?
I worried quite a-loudly.

But there at my feet, glowing bright
Pinned to the quilt, my only cover
A simple note that filled my sight --
"Merry Christmas, Lover."