Surf & Turf

Why, Oh why didn't I stick to my original plan?

Let me start at the beginning ... I do my big weekly shop on a Saturday morning. In fact - I shop, not only for me, but for both mine and Ron's fathers ... so it is quite an art - each of us pushing a trolley around the supermarket, armed with a list each, then meeting up half way round to compare lists etc. But I digress.... walking around the supermarket this morning I decided to cook lasagna tonight for dinner - easy peasy – and all the ingredients already either at home or in the trolley!

THEN ... we decide to head for the cash and carry warehouse - to stock up on certain stuff and take advantage of some special offers on treats we wouldn't otherwise buy. The main reason we went there was because they had opened an in-store bakery, and had the giant American cookies at the giveaway price of 20 for under £2. As the kids adore them and the local supermarkets charge £1 for just 5, it was an offer no Mum could justifiably refuse … well THIS Mum couldn't because she never gets a look in on the few occasions cookies are purchased.

Now, like any good food store that has listened to the marketing people, the in-store bakery is situated at the diagonally opposite corner of the store to the entrance. This means that we have to walk past shelves and shelves of goodies to get to it. BAD NEWS!!! And, for once, Alex has decided that he will come shopping with us to 'help'. Help with what, I am not quite sure. Have you noticed how, when accompanied by a child (no matter what their age, and Alex is 17,) the shopping bill rises?? So there I am, trying to lead two 'boys' past the sweets, crisps and goodies, to get to the bakery. Whilst on the way there, Ron finds these giant tiger prawns that are on special, and into the trolley they go.

I am still heading in the general direction of the new bakery that has just opened (to just buy some cookies) and I happen to notice that they have updated the butchery department. I slowed down to have a quick look and noticed that they have rump steak at giveaway prices, and into the trolley they go. Well – eight steaks for just £5 is too good to miss. Finally, we get to the bakery! Ron remembers that the doughnuts were advertised as being on special, but there were no notices up about this. Not to worry, we can pick up the leaflet at the customer services desk which is situated… you've guessed it… by the entrance.

Now, do you think they would stay put and let me hurry back through the store? Not on your life. They follow me as far as the sweet aisle! I hurry on; trying not to think of what might find it's way into the trolley. I get back to find that the trolley is looking much fuller than when I left and determinedly steered them back to the bakery! Yes, doughnuts WERE on special, so the cookies AND the doughnuts join the six boxes of sweets and three trays of drinks that had joined the prawns and steaks in my brief absence!

Hmmmmmm - thought I ... steak, prawns??? What is everybody's favourite when we go to eat out ... Surf and Turf!!!! Woohoooo - quick change of mind as to what to cook for dinner tonight. And that's where my question comes in... Why did I change my mind???

Ok - first defrost the prawns. 2 hours at room temperature. All right, I am going to start cooking at 6pm, so the prawns are out of the freezer by 3.30pm. Up high and covered, so the cats can't have an extra meal. Ahhhh time to get onto the computer!!! OK 6 o'clock comes and I am ready to start!!! Make a coating batter, leave to stand while I check on the prawns ... aaaghhhhh still frozen!

OK, don't panic ... that's what the defrost button on the microwave is for!!! Leave to stand for 5 minutes and ... still frozen. Hmmmm - hit the button again ... leave to stand for 10 minutes ... aaggghhhhh ... right - stand the bowl in warm water. Finally the prawns are ready to be cooked!!!!

OK - now, use your head here - they need to be deep-fried. OH!!! I forgot ... dumped the deep fat fryer a few years back. Right, don't panic ... you were a Guide, a Cub Leader ... be prepared - be inventive ... OK, my largest saucepan is quickly converted into a deep fat fryer!!!

Start to cook the oven chips and put the steaks onto grill. Start to coat the prawns ... the oil should be warm enough by now. Put the first one in - and no! It's not. Wait another minute ... put another prawn in ... that's better!

OK, dip in flour, coat in batter, put in hot oil ... OUCH, it splashed me ... JUST IGNORE the burn ... dip, coat, oil and on it goes. Ohhhh, they did look good, all turning a wonderful golden brown. OK, time to get the first batch out. Oh, oh ... how??? I can't use my slotted spoon, it's plastic and will not take the heat. Hmmmm - OK, the tongs. (Do you know how difficult it is fishing round with tongs for battered prawns that seem to have a mind of their own???)

The second lot go in ... more splashes, more burns. The oil is now too hot and the kitchen fills with smoke. Open the back door - freeze, but disperse the smoke ... quick, turn the steaks!!! Oh well, they like 'em well done!

Then the final lot go in. Thanks gawd!!! Am on the final stretch!!! Ohhhh the kids haven't done the washing up like they had promised. Do the washing up whilst keeping an eye on the prawns AND the steaks!!!

FINALLY, my nightmare is over - I am ready to serve!!! Wooohoooooo - WHAT??? You want bread with it. Start to cut and butter bread while they start eating. OK, now I can eat!!!!

They all loved it ... can't wait for me to do it again!

Well - I am telling you now ... they will have to wait until my memory fades- or even better; they can take me to a restaurant and allow somebody else to cook it.