All Comments on 'The Husband's Ex-Boss Pt. 01'

English people think they are sexy.. but they don't know any better

having lived there I was appalled to find out how bad they are at sex

they tend to think sex and naughty are the same thing fuckin sad getting an English woman to fuck, well good luck there and why would you want to?

oh yeah the story, sadly too English for me ...1

No emotion or real dialogue to define the characters.

Yes, you are a racist....and a fuck head. I'll waste no more time on you. Back to the story. I thought it was pretty good so far. Am not too thrilled about Gill hooking up with John though. Steve is sick and she is horny, I get that. But there is that thing in the vow she took " in sickness and in health" that she seems to have forgotten.

Don't until you get an editor or a proofreader. 1

Little long but really want to see where things go...

For now, just flirting...but...This story has some issues: 1st - the husband for a man with Parkinson never is at home; 2nd - I think the author is trying to tell a story about romance between two low level cheaters. Cheaters are cheaters, no romance can come from it; 3rd - The husband is almost absent of his house and is refered the same way she would refer a ill dog...And that will turn their cheating even worse...

I'm intrigued and want to read more. Especially interested since it takes place in my own area. Let's have the next episode.

Love your story. The writing and spelling are not as strong as they could be.

But the content is moving smoothly, if slowly, toward what I expect to be a very arousing and satisfying finish.

Cannot wait for the next chapter.

Why is it always the husband has a medical condition? This same tale has been done at least a thousand times this year and the guy always has a medical condition that means the wife just has to go cheat because getting a hard on is the main thing in life.

but I believe in being honest. How else are you to learn?

First, writing a story is not the same as telling someone a story over a couple of beers. When writing, characters need to be formed. For that to happen we must hear them speak, visualize their actions.

I can not comment on the content because frankly I got so bored trying to read it, I quit midway through the first page.

Others have mentioned your spelling, I would like to add your punctuation to the list of technical errors.

Before continuing, I would advise going on line and taking some free writing courses. They're all over the internet.

And I enjoyed the read. Steve with Parkinsons is mitigating though deception is still devastating. I hope that eventually there mind be consensus about John in the home. Keep writing. May i suggest that first person narrative might be more compelling? Thanks

Too much like colloquial spoken English. It doesn't work well when written down. You need to check the tenses you use, proof read it and get an editor.

As I say, a slow burner, and I look forward to further episodes.

May I say though, the way you describe Gill's dress style, in no way fits the type of woman you say she is. At 55 I doubt that many women wear much denim? For me the black leggings just did not go.

I like the set up and have experience of slowly flirting with women in the same way as John, so roll on the next part of the tale.

not particularly intriguing, but there might be something,

or not.

and the title is misleading.

She already cheated mentally and emotionally so she should just fuck him now and totally humiliate her poor sickly husband. Why not try a novel idea and talk to her husband instead of sneaking around on him , cheaters male or female are fucked up people with no regard of anyone else's feelings. If things are that bad in any way divorce the person and if she would come out looking like a selfish self centered bitch than so be it. There's no need to make a fool of your spouse .

I really enjoyed this story. Please write more, I want to know what happens next. Ignore the doomsayers!

Tiny cock timid husband, sex starved beautiful wife, handsome fit cocksman, and British culture. What's with all the British gentlemanly pussies regularly portrayed by British authors? Do you really hate British men that much? I can't believe the average British male is any less jealous, or more prone towards a cuckold role, than any other culture, including American. The Brits don't have to cut the nuts off, or blow the brains out, of their rivals, like Americans do. But a bit of dragging the predator out into the street for some bone breaking thrashing would be nice to read about. And since the British predators are always bigger and tougher than the wimpy husbands they steal wives from, I think some group retribution, or a very traditional British ambush with edged weapons would be valid. No guns (shudder), leave that to the colonial brutes. When it comes to protecting our women, we wear our brutality with pride. Or we are transplants, from you know where.

I am anxious to see what happens next! Knowing what each person is going through mentally is very rewarding to the reader. The pace is perfect, lots of tension. I like that Gill is still satisfying her husband sexually. The stand by your man in sickness and health attitude is very admirable. Hopefully if she does fall into temptation she will preserve Steve's dignity. If she does slip up I hope that she realizes her mistake and makes it up to Steve, maybe give him a threesome with her good friend.

Waiting for part 2. Soon I hope.

I thought the comments were among the most encouraging I have seen for a new story, so it is too bad a new story has not been posted. As the comments sugggested, improvments will come with writting. This is too much in a simple narrative stlye of telling a sequence of events and less time getting inside the heads of the participants. The sequence-of-events style is rarely erotic. One needs tension of some sort, preferably desire, intrigue, indecision, uncertainty and not the more negatives like stemming from fear or pain. Writting dialogue in a story really helps the write and reader get into the head of the participants. Hope you try some more as the basic idea here has promise and this genre offers great variety and there are not enough stories by or about 55 year old women :)

It's been quite a while since you wrote this little number. I'd love to see a sequel as soon as possible. Great look, especially a Mature Lady with a liking for Mini Skirts! A little girl/ girl action wouldn't hurt, either.

Got the point