All Comments on 'Infernal Machines Ch. 01'

It's a great start. I can't wait to see how the story unfolds.

I like your narrative voice but find the constant use of italics for description and action and exposition, as well as character thoughts, an irritating affectation. Formatting is generally used to make the narrative more clear - and therefore, flow more easily - to the reader. Choosing simple conventions and then using them consistently allows the reader to follow the story without thought, immerse themselves in it. The convention you've used here is making it more difficult to differentiate between description, action, character thought with only the dialogue standing out. Have you ever seen a published work done this way? Ever wondered why? Because the conventions of publication have been built over many, many years to make visualisation of the story easiest for the reader.

If this were reformatted, leaving the character's thoughts in italics and the rest without, it would be a far smoother read.