All Comments on 'City of Angels'

This is a good story. I just felt it's unresolved.

A simmering pleasure to read. I hope you can craft a following story, the characters are so well developed and there is plenty to work with. Thank you.

characters are well developed and real.

Would love to see another chapter at least. This felt a bit unresolved and there seems to be plenty of loose ends to tie up.

Like it's not quite finished yet

If the story ends here, one has to wonder what became of our two lovers. However, as other readers have expressed, additional chapters and development of the story would be most welcome. Thanks!!

So beautifully written. And although it would be great to read more, I do think it stands alone and I like the way it ends. Absolutely wonderful.

two lost souls (Craig more than Evan it has to said) coming together. Both with "daddy" issues, shall we say. I do think this stands alone if you want it that way, but I think an epilogue at least to rid them both of their traumas would be most satisfying! :)

I liked the fact they both resolved their Daddy issues as well as finding perfect love - and a hot partner in bed.

Thank you for taking the time to tell a story of two people. A story of true caring about the other. Your story is thoughtful and erotic.

Beautifully done. I love these tragically imperfect characters who might just be good for each other. I really assume you have another half of this story. I hope you do. It felt unfinished. the obvious issues of whether his father was ill, the issues of their relationship continuing even though they both have issues and that this is so new for

Evan. How would people in Evan's world react..not just family, but friends and co-workers? How would Evan fit into Craig's world? How would those jealous, gossipy people react to them being together? Would Craig's father ever get better at relating to him? All things I really want to know. You have a great ability to use such beautifully symbolic images and metaphors. the comparison of the shower being like a chrysalis was great. The descriptions of the sunsets and such made me feel like i was in a place I've never been. I hope you keep writing this story and others. good luck with the contest. 5*'s

Cannd

Solid writing. I just think there is so much left unsaid. Well done.

I read your story first thing this morning and found myself thinking about your wonderful characters all day at work! I just re-read it and fell further in love with your writing style. I disagree that the ending was rushed or incomplete. It seemed hopeful and promising as the characters gained personal insight. That doesn't mean I wouldn't absolutely LOVE an epilogue!!! You get my vote as contest winner!

This was well written, great characters and dialogue, and definitely worth 5 stars. Like most others have stated, another chapter would be fantastic - if you (and the characters!) can manage it.

Normally I come to Literotica looking for a good hot stroker and rarely get involved in a love story, especially one that runs six pages. And to me, the storyline was just like a million-and-a-half other love stories. But the descriptive writing in the first few paragraphs dragged me in, powerfully evoking fifty year old memories of time spent on the SoCal coast. Thank you.

I loved it! Five stars! But it felt incomplete. Would love to read one more chapter.

I am a bisexual man who usually likes lesbian porn/stories but I actually read all 6 pages of this story and it made me cum violently and made me shiver nicely done I loved it!!!!!!

On all levels. Writing - powerful, straightforward, authentic; Character development - clear and profound arcs of transformation through relationship with each other; Story - vivid portrayal of the blissful, fearful, exciting feelings of new love and lust; Eroticism - hot! hard! wet! yummy! (btw - I'm a straight female)

So worthy of a follow up...I think? Let them revel in their cocoon or find out if they can make it? Hmmm?

cincilatin

Intriguing and well-written story. I eagerly await the second chapter :-).

Fabulous writing!!! Leaving us wanting more and more and more....

I don't comment on stories but this one I love I can't wait for the second chapter

wonderful, touching, lovely. a big thanks 2 u,.....love u....

dineshbharti300@gmail.com

Excellent writing, with a sexy story, one that's filled with real humanity.

I did not see this story being well written as two lost souls, wondering in SoCal would meet and fall in love. I like the way you transitioned Evan from a straight man into falling for another man. It wasn't about some gay man's fantasy but showed raw and authentic confusion in Evan for being attracted to Craig. At the same time, Craig was patient in letting Evan come to him in his own time and not play a role in influencing him to be with him.

The story does feel like it has come to an end and/or a stand only. However, you could continue with Evan going to see his father, Evan meeting Craig's father, Evan taking Craig to his gym and all the men fawning over Evan will instantly have crushes on Craig, etc.

Phenomenal story. I hope I can figure out how to access the contest to cast my vote. Well deserved if yours is the winner. Good luck!

just perfect! I like it so much, and I think is necessary another chapter. PLEASE. It would be nice to see how they solve the "issues" of Craig and the big thing of the outing of Evan; I think we (Im meaning all your readers) need at least an "I love you" or "I need you" between them. I am not criticizing, I am just asking MORE PLEASE!

congratulations, you writting is awesome, I like so much the images you use to describe their emotions.

the moment when Evan left the house of Craig after the kissing and blowjob was SO real in my mind, I like the way he faces the fact that he is attracted to a man, all was so credible, real and natural.

thank you so much your work.

I loved how you developed both Evan's and Craig's characters. I was able to feel what they were feeling. The metamorphosis Evan went through was well written. I could empathize with Craig's anxiety and his "issues". I agree there is more of this story to be written. You have already established Evan's acceptance of what he is, his new self. It would be great to see Craig's release from the hold his anxiety has on him. I am also interested in knowing where you want to go with Evan "getting off the fucking highway". How will this new self affect his job and his relationship with his family? Will he be accepted into Craig's world? Will either of them care? Will there be any tests to their love for each other (and I agree with one of the other comments, we need to hear the "I love you, I need you" to each other) that will solidify their future together?

I see the need for the daddy dynamic (and love it), but it would be cool to also see more of Craig accepting his self worth and what love he deserves that Evan is trying to give to him. He doesn't have to always be the daddy pleaser in their relationship, but is worthy on his own of the love Evan is offering.

We need more!

I don't know if the star voting above is sufficient for the Valentine's Day contest (I gave you a 5, of course) but I will make sure I find out!

Please continue with the story.

This is my first time commenting a story and this is my first time reading a 6-page story (I prefer less than 5pages) and I did not regret any second of it. The story is very well organised. The characters developed and it makes me want to know more about them, about their relationship, and their future. I really enjoy the flow of the story, the wordings you use, and how you describe Los Angeles (very descriptive and spot on). I really hope you continue this story. Your story has made me smile and teary on some parts, especially the wanting to have someone beside you part. Thank you.

This is a great erotic story. It's sexy, in a visceral kind of way, dripping and kinetic, but it's more. It's real. So many characters on this site are so thin, little more than an idea and a fetish rubbed out between furious fingers. These two are far from that. There is substance mixed in, fiction dashed in with the friction. Yet it never loses its sexual focus.

Erotic stories are hard to balance, but this piece does so marvelously. I'm pressed to recall a story that did a better job of sticking this tight to lust while giving me enough intellectual and emotional stimulation to elicit a proper response other than a hard-on.

Nicely done.

Continue the story please

The story is great. Some details, however, seem disconnected: Amy and Evan

are approaching 30, I believe they were 29 yet Evan's parents are celebrating

their 25th wedding anniversary! Also, Evan's father lives in Laguna but commutes

from Los Angeles. Laguna is too far away for a daily commute. It can be done

but seems unrealistic in this story.

Otherwise, this story is very romantic and hot!

Simply wonderful story, wish it would never end...I could feel their love.

I was held on breath all along the six pages ahead by their story ..Facts or Fiction It's OH SO BEAUTIFUL what happened to them out of the blue... LOVE THIS

There's a kind of MAGIC evolving,elipsing between Evan & Craig... They hardly met each other indeed it clearly shows that they are Soulmates...All through the pages,they never ever shared an ''I LOVE YOU'' but to me ,the intensity in this love they're learning to ''tame'' is beyond words, transcendental. Probably because both of them were discovering certain part of themselves ,Evan ,who he really is, attraction for a beautiful man, he discovers LOVE …and Craig, how good it feels to be loved , how good it feels to realize someone is attentive to his needs and values him for the man he is, after all he moved through ,he meets Evan and finds Love...The way they describe each other, ''I LOVE YOU'' is so flagrantly written in between these lines. I love how they are confused by the way they love each other,there's a kind of disarray which almost bring them to tears... I also had this lump in my throat and was brought to tears reading their Lovestory...I feel same for My Guy,My Sweet Angel whose really far from me...

Ooh Thank You to share part of your MAGIC with Me...

JL

I haven't read anything on here in at least three years. I haven't posted anything in even longer than that. Thank you for making my return such a beautiful one.

Your characters are mostly clear-cut and entirely believable. Sell that and you can sell any emotional journey. I also appreciated your balance between erotica and straightforward storytelling very much. You created an intensely erotic connection... but didn't get stuck in two hot men fucking each other six ways to Sunday on every page. You gave them a real world with interesting backgrounds and terrificly imperfect lives. Above all, your scent and heat spell mesmerised me - bravo. I love that sort of thing. It makes everything else - love and sex included - feel more real and intense.

You have my vote for the Valentine thingy.

Thank you again.

AH

I've read a lot of stories on this site that are minblowingly hot and some that are sweet and some that just push so many of my buttons, but none of them have made me feel so strongly for the characters quite like this one has. Craig and Evan were just two compellingly real people who are at an important juncture in their lives without realizing it and the fact that they've found each other makes me so, so happy for them.

This was also such a sweet love story for SoCal, which I felt was your third main character. Your depiction of the city and the desert, the sea and the cliffs, the urban gray and the barely-hidden wildness was framed with such love for the place that it was humbling to read.

Excellent, excellent story. Hope we get to see more stories from you, even if they aren't about Craig, Evan, and California.

Great characters your readers care about, sweet romance, and hot sex. Wow! Very well done. Thanks for crafting such a delightful story!

This story was soooo good. I immediately fell in love with the characters. This story was just so well done. Pls keep writing!

Please keep the story going!!!

Really powerful and real. Wow! What a read :) I'll be eagerly watching for more of your stories.

i must say this a great piece of writing however i find it a touch creepy .? i think i would run for the hills as well.? i will read on . i found this story cos a friend told me about it.? i get hot for cops.? but the daddy thing is a bit beyond me.? any how keep going your good at writing ... BIG J .

This is such an amazing story,,,,, I believe this is not the end of it yet.

I would want to know how things turned out with Craig's father. I think there's so much to tell there. Don't forget Evan's issue with his dad. I would also want you to bring up there past into there new relationship and how they'll handle it. So please,, don't stop writing.

A part from that,, you are an amazing writer .

I started this and could not stop until i finished it. I wanted to cum so many times through out this but held off!!!. I'm going to sleep so well now and covered in my own cum and dreaming about waking up in somebody's arms that cares and loves me this much! Great story keep writing your attention to detail is amazing but I think you already knew that.

Like I wish it was me in the story.

What a wonderfully and eloquently written story. A perfect description and example of the emotional trials and tribulations of a "gay" soul, especially of one that has to cope with the emotional and/or physical absence of a father figure! I sincerely hope you continue this story in refrence to the development of their relationship and their enviroment's reaction to it and where the relationships with their dads go.

I imagine that Evan is beginning to feel his way into a sexual experience with Craig. Please give Evan a beautifully hairy chest, as he seems to be such a sexy individual that he would have hairy chest hiding under that shirt! I always imagine a policeman in good physical shape with a beautifully hairs chest, the kind where the hair peeks out of the collar or over the t-shirt.

I've also imagined that if a policeman should pull me over, the first things I would notice about him is the chest hair that would be visible at the shirt collar AND the belt buckle and crotch that would be at eye-level. It's almost a fantasy that this would happen to me.

Hey the above comment is Bullshit. Evan is perfectly beautiful. He does not need a hairy body. In fact I hate hairy guys. I don't like hair in my teeth when I suck a tight arse.

Loved the story. Evan and Craig fit together well. I think Evan might have been maybe a little to aggressive for someone who was coming to terms with his attraction to another man but it was still a nice turn. I was sure Craig was going to be the "top" when the story started to take shape at the party but I was not disappointed with the outcome. As everyone else is screaming for there needs to be more stories!!

How Does It Feel to know that this caring creation lives on, now since 2015 within Literotica? I've been an avid reader here since 2009 and don't recall Ever becoming so involved with the characters (and the author) as with this marvelous script. Now that I think about it, I wouldn't be surprised to hear about it as movie theme, or TV series. I say that using a line from Chapter One - "... it's not about being Gay ..." It's more like real life; of how humanity should recognize, treat and respect humanity with no original intent to humiliate anyone or any culture. The story itself validates the romance worthy of the sexual connection. I Love this story and look forward to reading parts 2, 3 and 4.

I can't believe I haven't noticed this prize winning piece before now. What a great Holiday present.

Thank You

Tony C

There are a couple of minor spelling and grammar issues. But, I have not read such a great story in a while.

Evan was described as being 28 in the beginning but then he goes to his conservative, religious parents home for thier 25th wedding anniversary. That's just something that I couldn't get passed once I read it. Still an amazing story. I've read it multiple times. That little temporal anomaly just trips my brain up.

You're an incredible story teller and I love that the eroticism doesn't take a hit because of the romance. It's both sweet and hot AF!!!