All Comments on 'Jake and Gill'

this needs more to it.this is just toooo good to be left like it is.what happens to the the first 2 kids and cheryl do they have kids and how many?

Such a well crafted story deserves more chapters--------PLEASE-----------

James UK

Weinstein = Rothschild. Good story with a lot of characters and you kept them organized. Plus a little history.

Very easily worth 5 stars. This is a gem of a story. Thankyou for sharing it with us.

No way this can be a real life tale but very enjoyable

I don't usually write sequels, but I had such fun writing this one that I feel there is mileage in more with these characters. Once I finish launching the dozen more I have already itching to be released down the slipway, I may well return to these blueprints and lay a fresh keel. Watch this space!

This story is so improbable. Only HDK's Lady In Red is more unlikely. But I am enjoying both even if they are fairy tales. Please carry on.

I guessed fairly early on that Jake would be one of the owners of the bank, but certainly didn't "bank" on all the rest! While I really liked the story, I felt that it started to run away with itself at the end as things just kept piling up on each other. There was just too much to take in, and I felt that the dialogue (and even the story) got rather mechanical. And all those people...how could anyone keep track without a family tree beside them? :-)

I think Wayne was incredibly lucky that the bank didn't prosecute him - he deserved it. However, this seems to be the way of so many institutions - brush it under the carpet and hope that nobody notices.

A minor point, also: as a Brit you should well know that she won't be Lady Gill - she will be Gillian, Lady Standhope (with whatever title fits - Baroness, Countess, maybe even Duchess if you want to make Jake the Duke of Standhope).

Some great points. I must first apologise for uploading this still rough piece. It is still at first draft stage with parts left undeveloped, I now realise. I think I spent 2 solid months on it and was desperate to launch it and get on with the next story that was biting my bum screaming for its share of attention!

I think I need to revisit J&G, where I need to expand Izote's role so that she becomes a believable love rival. I also left out the backstory of Jake's uncle, his mother's twin, who passed the title onto Jake; I think Gertie mentions him when she speaks about her husband Johnny and then I forgot him. How I did that, I don't know! I could also put in a piece showing Cheryl's relationship with Clay and Jenny, using Jenny's teenage baby fixation as a focus; this would provide sympathy for Cheryl and further darken Wayne's soul. As for Wayne's lenient punishment, banks, governments and long established institutions, notoriously sweep such things as fraud under the carpet and, after all, Wayne is 'family' with a small 'f' and Jake is 'all family'. I have experienced a number of instances where people have done heinous things in business and been promoted where they can't cause too much grief or given golden handshakes and testimonials to get shot of them.

I apologise for the long cast list, perhaps I need to spent more time on each character's development so they become familiar people rather than just a blur of names. I wrote a detailed backstory for this tale: at some point in the future it might be interesting to write Gertie's story in more detail, set in the 40s and 50s. Would you be interested in how a strong young woman from the East End (the other side of the tracks) copes with her elevation and the devastation of losing the love of her life so young, left with two twin children, the elder boy struggling with his gender and the girl wilfully marrying for love to a dashing soldier adventurer?

Back to J&G, I admit the end was a little hurried, but that was because I was holding far too many cards to my chest before the final "ta da!"

I promise I will return to this story, rework it and finish it properly, as soon as I complete my current novella "Lucky Man" in two or three weeks. (Now, if you thought J&G was full of secrets, as the saying goes, you ain't seen nuthin' yet!

Maybe even too many to use in a single sequel. Perhaps, if you were to adopt the practice used by SW_MO_Hermit, the way the Fieldings, Steelville, the Feed Store, the resort, the military, etc. appear in individual, stand alone stories, while still being linked to a recurring common theme? The Winstons, Nicholls, the banks, cab co, printing, the moors, dales, featuring a family member from this side, that side, married into, you could tell all the stories without having to be tied too tightly in a ball of string? You could tell the stories of families and family members we have not even met, yet.

What a story. Truly on of the great creations on Lit

Many thanks for sharing and looking forward to the sequals

And while it ran to 13 pages they hardly touched the surface of the possibilities. Well done. Entertaining to boot! I hope that you follow along with more about this couple. I especially loved Grandma! What a woman!

Slightly over the top but altogether a highly enjoyable plot with wonderful characters.5*

Read upto 7 pages then left jumped to last page....

Plot was ok but after some pages it was not strong.....

This Pommy ass have no idea how to write !

looking forward to seeing where it goes from here.

The best story I've ever read and I read a lot.

I’m going through all your stories and this one just stands out!

Thank you for thirteen excellent pages. I couldn’t stop reading. Luckily I’m retired.

outrageously funny whilst being absorbing. one never was sure where the storyline was going next. Well done .

Enjoyed this when it was first posted and loving it again. I'd have loved to see another few pages or a new chapter in follow-up, lots of great potential for the story line. Anyway, always appreciate stories from Spencerfiction