I did not like this story. Starting off, you had many poor grammer mistakes, and several parts that were just confusing...
The ending seemed to be a letdown. First you say that the person finally gave up to the torture, and that her friend died, but then that her friend only recieved a low voltage charge?
This story was a good read. I would have liked more erotic stimulation than sick perversion, but overall the entire story I thought was well written. It was a bit too quick for me, but I liked it for the most part. Thanks for the read ~ Red
The story line had a lot of possibilities ...BUT the grammar, word usage, spelling, etc. errors were overpowering! It completely ruined the story. Writing erotica is exactly like writing anything ...you have simply got to follow the rules. There are NO substitutes, no shortcuts. Learn the language before you write.
I spent about ten seconds skipping through this--just to see if it could be as bad as the comments suggested.
Yup--should have suspected by the lamebrainity of the title: Doctors don't actually have lairs--they have surgeries, practices and offices. How about the BUTTFUCKER'S lair, or the Doctor's EXAMINATION ROOM....bah-I'm going for a shit.
Read the first paragraph of this story and you'll be horrified by the grammar: "I am walking down the street with my girlfriend, gently I reached over and gave a ass a little squeeze, "I love you," I whispered in her ear, but then suddenly I feel a sharp stab in my neck as I turn round to see I collapse to the floor Laura next to me."____________WTF?!?!?!? Skip this grammatic nightmare.
I agree with the comments regarding spelling errors and grammatical mistakes. However, I did like the story very much and would like to see additional chapters. I hope the story takes a more erotic turn instead of the overt sadism angle.
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