The flower's on a tree do not all bloom at the same time...
And those that bloom last are most remembered...Art
typically haiku is untitled, but on occasion you'll see it. There is a nice break between the calla lilly folds and the moist. Don't confine yourself to the 17 syllables, the 17 syllables actually refers to onji, which are the Japanese equivalent to English syllables, only shorter. Most English language haiku is now written in less than 17 syllables, more closely resembling the Japanese original. By working to less than 17 syllables you can make your good haiku even that much more succinct.
on Calla Lilly
moist folds glisten"
by dropping the ing endings, you make the haiku more "in the moment"...
Either way, a very sexy haiku... well done.
jim : )
trickeling = trickling
Click here to leave your own comment on this submission!
orBack to Anticipation
orMore submissions by sweetnpetite.
Edit comment orSubmit Comment
Comment posted successfully - click here to view it or write another.
Title of your comment:
Your public comment about Anticipation:
Please type in the security codeYou may also listen to a recording of the characters.
Title your feedback:
Your feedback to sweetnpetite:
If you would like a response, enter your email address in this box:
Feedback sent successfully - click here to write another.
Login or Sign Up
All contents © Copyright 1998-2012. Literotica is a trademark. No part may be reproduced in any form without explicit written permission.
Terms Of Services|Report A Problem|Privacy
Password:Forgot your password?
Your current user avatar, all sizes:
You have a new user avatar waiting for moderation.
Select new user avatar:
Upload and save
User avatar uploaded successfuly and waiting for moderation.