All Comments on 'The Ocean Spirit'

by Black Tulip

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  • 2 Comments
A7inchPhildoA7inchPhildoabout 20 years ago
vivid fantasy

Nice fantasy you display such wonderful emotions. Almost like aromance story with a fictional man from another place and time. :)

taalib_ay_ilmtaalib_ay_ilmabout 20 years ago
Goos attempt . . . but . . .

. . . few stylistic considerations would have made it much better.

For instance, the word lustful instead of horny would have made some difference.

I suggest, for stylistic nuances you should consider using the very excellent Volunteer Editor programme this site has.

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