All Comments on 'Flesh'

the description of the house starting the story was excellent, established setting immediately. The main character seemed easy to get to know... though as she became disassociated near the end of the story, I realized I had a lot to learn about her. I liked the subtleties here, the loose piece of trim where she could hide food, the slight hint of sexuality, and an interesting dinner.

One thing you might want to edit: "I duck my head a smile a little bit. It makes me look twelve. She hasn't decided if I'm going to be a problem or someone she can have." I think the first sentence wants to read "I duck my head and smile a little bit..." or so it seems to me.

Another sentence made me do a double take: "I ride the near edge of scamper to the door out of the room." I wasn't really sure what was happening here. After several reads, I think you were basically saying that she "nearly, but not quite, scampered" out of the room. It just threw me a little.

I enjoyed your relaxed style here, I found it very readable. Good execution, besides the one typo it appeared flawless. I see a possiblity for a continuation, but liked the insight you already provided. An interesting look at an interesting character.

Very good...

jim : )

The last three stories I’ve read here in the non-erotic section have been depressing as hell. Is that all there is here, depressing stories about getting old, losing spouses, incurable diseases, mental health problems? I think I’ll go back to “Loving Wives”, at least I can relate to that without feeling like the world is caving in on me. Sorry about the rant but I get excitable sometimes.