All Comments on 'In Kitchen With Mom'

Did not like it, sorry.

You rushed everything so it didn't sound possible to have happened. Try again just make sure we can believe it happened and add details so we know things we didn't know in this story like she was in her nightgown all along or that they were lusting for each other and did they make it the one time before she got pregnant.

Read the submission guidelines on how to write erotica (they're free) and try again.

It wasn't till I got to near the end that the horrible truth dawned on me that this might not be intended to be funny! I thought at first it was quite an amusing parody of all the worst bits of incest stories you've ever seen, all strung together, but noooo...

For godsakes raise your game a bit, Dude. This is embarrassing.

Sucked

No real story, too short and not believable

General idea is good, however it's way too short and needs expanding. Of course it would make an good introduction for more parts.

As others have said, short, rushed, implausible even given the MAJOR suspension of disbelief eorica readers usually have, no story, no fun. Doesn't even stand well against the stuff written by people who barely know English.

This is the absolutely worst story I have ever read. The author is obviously one stupid writer. This story had no creativity, no plot, lacked detail, too short, unrealistic, went too quickly to the sex details without any plot build up. The author should shoot himself for being so stupid and inept.

get another hobby

there's no build up, jumped in too soon. Best way to write stories is to build some initial exitement and then lead it smoothly and exit the plot gracefully. A good try, I think you can modify the starting and then submit again. I believe the way you jumped into it right away spoils the whole plot.

After reading your feeble attempt at writing erotica, I checked your member's profile. Your age range is listed at 18 to 22 years old. Did you finish high school? If you didn't, go back and finish. And if you did graduate high school, then shame on the high school that gave you a diploma. Why this harsh criticism? Even a junior high student (that would be grades 5-8) knows that pregnancy in humans is 9 (NINE) months, not 7(SEVEN) as you stated at the end of your "story". Furthermore, I agree with the other harsh comments that have been given. By the way, if you're not sure what "pathetic" means, look it up in a dictionary. That's the book with lots of pages and on the front cover is ten big letters:D-I-C-T-I-O-N-A-R-Y.

Any prose that begins with "When I asked my mother to teach me how to cook, I had ulterior motives. I wanted her to teach me how to fuck, too" is doomed from the beginning! The name of this web site is Literotica.com, as in erotica. This story was not erotica and has no value. A waste of bandwidth.

The text didnt flow and events went so fast, I couldnt tell what was happening. When I caught on, I was a bit surprised that it was already over. Also there were missing words, which suggested you just wrote it and sent it in... A literary no-no regardless of the format or content.

I was quite disappointed, and recommend you take your time and flesh out the scenario.

doesn't the title say it all........one of the worst i ever read.

Dear Rockford,

I am sure that you spent a great deal of time on your story, and that you are very proud of it; therefore I shall be less harsh with you than the other people who have left comments here have been.

Before you even think about writing another story of Oedipal love, take the trouble to read some of the other contributions to this site. The ones I have in mind are anything by "J", notably "Teasing Mom", "A Son's Guide to Seduction", and "Dishono(u)r Thy Mother". Then, although you might find it a bit lengthy, sit down and read the masterpiece which cannot be praised too highly, "A Mother and Her Son" by R.G. John.

I can guarantee that you will be unable to look at any of these stories without becoming erect; an effect which your story most certainly did not have upon me. Quite apart from the fact that these writers know how to describe the act of love, they have taken the trouble to build up the tension in the story by making the reader wonder whether or not the mother and her boy are going to consummate their passion, and they have described their characters in such a way that one might believe they really do exist.

When you do write another story, I suggest that your first action is to show it to a couple of people whom you can trust; although not your mother, unless you really are taking your fantasies one step too far. Then ask them whether they consider it is fit for distribution to a wider audience. If they advise against it, you might be well-advised to find some other hobby, unless you have a particularly thick skin and do not mind receiving more abuse.

In this case, I am sorry to tell you that the abuse was merited, as this was a very poor story.

Still, it isn't the worst one I have ever read. There is one on another site called "Sex Slave Mother", about a totally unbelievable young lassie named Susan King and her two sons, which makes your attempt look like Dickens or Thackeray.

Best wishes,

le souffle au coeur.

that was only 900 words long.. I can't even write a sex scene that short let alone a whole story..

This is not an original story. I've read this before in asstr so I was somewhat surprised to see it again with minor changes. It was dumb in original form too!

DUDE, YOU'VE GOT ME SITTING HERE WITH A BIG LIMP DICK IN MY HAND,THANKS!..YEAH,LIKE IF INCEST WAS GONNA HAPPEN BETWEEN A MOTHER AND SON,IT WOULD HAPPEN LIKE THAT,LOL. YOU SHOULD READ ALOT OF STORIES ON HERE FIRST,THEN TRY TO MAKE ANOTHER ATTEMPT.OR SECOND THOUGHT,DON'T MAKE ANY MORE ATTEMPTS!LOL.

what hot story don't listen to others they don't know shit they just jelious because you are a better writer then those assholes

what hot story don't listen to others they don't know shit they just jelious because you are a better writer then those assholes

what hot story don't listen to others they don't know shit they just jelious because you are a better writer then those assholes

the story was way to short and was deprived of the detail i enjoy. personally i would have enjoyed it more also if his mother faught her felling harder for her son and didnt just give in in the first paragrapgh.

I really liked it, I love the idea of getting pregnant by a family member that would be soo fucking hot! Makes me so wet thinking about it! Good work!

FIrst, let's be clear. This story is short, but it's still exciting for any lover of hot motherfucking tales. In fact, the quickness mirrors the fast excitement of the action. A son has laid a few girls, but thinks, Is that all there is? What he's looking for is a woman he can feel something for. Luckily, his mother is very aware of her boy's interest in getting up between her legs. So, one day it happens, and her son achieves what all sons yearn for down deep--he shoves his stiff youthful prick up his own mother's twat and unloads his potent teenage balls, drenching his mom's womb with "scads of baby gravy"! His mother wants him to fuck a baby up her cunt, and her boy is deliriously happy to oblige. He knocks up his own mother. It's cute how he says at the end, "I did good, didn't I?" He sure did.

This fine story was written a few years ago by a boy 18 to 22 years of age. It's the only story he's submitted here. No wonder, after the vicious, spiteful comments below. I hope the pompous, malicious critics are content--they've blighted a young man's creative exploration of motherfucking--the assholes!

Umm I don't really know what to say but an extreme lack of detail and build up. Way to short and extreamly bad personality. Stick to the reading.

My story plays out almost like this and now me and my mother have 3 kids and we plan on keeping going

It's 9 months, but I wish I could do the same with my mom

What happened to the spaghetti, did it boil over?