I think I liked this best of all your stories, because the facial is described in unusually painstaking detail! More please.
I loved the facial scene. there is nothing sexier than a pretty girl with cum all over her face.
If this is my best out of 129 stories that I've posted (almost 100 of them rated "hot"), then how come this story is ranked by far the lowest out of all of them? Will someone email me (i.e. send me feedback) on why this one is doing so poorly? I have a feeling people just read the opening dialogue, figured that was the entire story, and then scrolled to the bottom and gave me a "1". Damn - I knew I should have kept that part out!
I have read many of your stories... your comment below has left you open to criticism ( I shudder for you LOL ).
I bore easily and got about a quarter down the page on this one. It's well written, don't get me wrong, but it just didn't captivate me. I'm still in awe of your talents though, so excuse my petty attempt at being a critic.
I like character developement and I like the fact that you had the beginning intro in the story, it showed that Erin does have friends outside of her life as a slut. It helped me see a little more into her character, and how she thought when she wasn't in the heat of the moment.
I don't know why this story has not done well as I think its well done and very well written given the genre.
Its clear this is a "stroke" story where sex trumps character development and plot intricacies. Given that constraint I found this to be very well done indeed. The sex is incessant and hot and the descriptions are all well done (with the exceptions of the "sound effects" such as "slurp,m slurp, et.al, which I felt diminished the general impact of the description -- but this is admitedly, a minor quibble).
I also liked the manner in which the interracial aspects of the relationship was handled. I mean it is a given that the Black character is going to have an insanely long and thick dick that will dwarf the white character and the white woman is going to be small, blond, overwhelmed, and swiftly addicted to this penile weapon of mass destruction.
So given that -- and by way of constructive criticism -- i'd like to see your writting skills applied to some more character development of either or both of the lead characters, in particular as the sex becomes a little dominant and they have to confront each other individuals qualities and/or hangups.
In other words, I'd like to see this story extended and advanced.
But, as i said, great job. This is the first of your stories that I've read (i'm new to internet erotica) and i can predict i'll become a fan.
Thanks for the story (and apologies for the incoherence of this comment!).
Erin's "over the the hill", she's close to being a sex junkie. The beautiful young lady is cheating on herself as well as her fiancee. Very erotic story.
... to wear an engagement ring?
It is getting a low rating because people don't like to hear about betrayal with no repercussions. They are not even married yet and she is ok with making him a wimpy cuckold! There is really nothing erotic about that IMHO!
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