All Comments on 'How To Write Lesbian Sex Scenes'

I am looking at some of the scenes I currently have in stories and applying your thoughts and insight there as well. I find that it applys to hetro sex scenes as far as character enjoyment and bringing more life to the scene.

Thanks for the Help

This text could be used to enhance hetro scenes also.

Too many stories I've seen, and yes, used the backspace to find a better story, have in fact been 'shallow' with no real connection between the two leads.

Well thought out and I'm sure will help many writers.

This was very well done. Some of the points seem obvious to me as a female writer, but you can't overstate the necessity of the emotional component. But then I never write a story without first having that feeling for another woman. It's what drives me to write in the first place. But I am probably guilty of some of the other pitfalls listed myself.

Thanks much for doing this.

All of your suggestions work for any story, actually. Women are much more hooked into the emotions of things, it seems. Really good article!

Colly does it again!

This how-to story is filled with excellent information for anyone who wishes to write a quality girl/girl scene.

Excellent attention to detail!

Well done!

...I say, me too.

It's just like the author, a classy piece of work.

Rumple Foreskin

No wonder! I always just assumed the first one to the clitoris was indeed the winner. It all makes sense to me now.

just kidding *grins*

Thanks for taking the time to write this. I thought I knew what I was doing but now maybe I can smooth out the rough edges. *wink*

~lucky

Ms Thomas

I had to send a breif comment on both your article and the two stories of yours I have read thus far (Football Widow, Ride On).

They are with out a doubt the finest lesbian erotica I have read.

As for the how to article, i could not stop nodding my head. I have never written erotica, but I certainly know what i like, and you desribed it perfectly.

Thank you for sharing yor stories with us.

Mark

What struck me about your comments is that they are appropriate suggestions for all narrative writing, not necessarily just lesbian erotica, nor even just erotica. This is not to take anything away from your comments; on the contrary, they are universally good advice. The difference between good and less well-done stories more often than not is characterization (assuming that the writer has any sort of command of the language in the first place) or the lack thereof. And most guys are more visual, I think; women more visceral, usually (of course there are exceptions). But regardless of truisms, who doesn't like the sight of a great butt :)

very helpful.

Such has been a fascination (no surprise) for a long time and sometimes I try to write it, but hesitant to expose it because of the danger of my lack of firsthand knowledge ruining it. Instead of enjoying, the random woman reader is laughing at best, going away bored less best.

Yes, very helpful.

Thanks!

I have often wondered if my ability to write a lesbian scene was in need of impovement. I have asked women who have read my stuff their opinions, but have never seen is spelled out in such an articulate way. Thank you.

absolutely brilliant stuff, and as one of the commenters noted, applies in most respects to non-lesbian erotica as well.

colleen, that article is a fantastic service to aspiring writers everywhere. your dedication to your craft, as exemplified by your having written this in the first place, is obvious.

This will not only hopefully allow me to improve my own stories but also gives me a great insight into why your stories are so compelling. I think it is not just women that will get a better experience if writers remember these simple tips but us men can be dragged much deeper into the world as well.

Thankyou

Jon

I just received an anonymous feedback telling me that I wrote a great lesbian story until the sex came in on the third page where it went flat, and suggested I read your essay. Since he was anon I had no way to tell the person that I had already read this before (like I have everything you have up here) and have now re-read it. Unfortunately, reading your advice no more makes me adept at writing a lesbian sex scene than walking into a garage makes me a mechanic. Still and all, it's great advice even if not easily adapted. Therein lies the problem; I've seen the seduction attempts and the messages sent between women, but never experienced the actual act. That's why I think I'll stay in the areas where I have a little more experience in.

I'm a relativly new writer for literotica and i've just put a story up with parts of lesbian sex in (it pending at the moment). I was kind of abit afraid people wont like it because it has more action with toys and feelings. I like to make sure the things i think of have a plot as well. It was a big help too. Keep up the good work!

I am a guy I and cannot speak for the rest of mankind but for me one of the biggest components of sex is the emotional aspect. I think this depth of feeling you speak of is certianly not limited to women and I may even go so far as to say that its not even stronger in women then it is in men. It could be that it is stronger in people who have stronger imaginations.

I notice this flaw in the vast majority of amature erotic literature attempts. For some reason, most erotic writers dont have a solid understanding or even desire to represent the emotional side of the sex. I dont understand what it is that causes people to overlook this aspect of the erotic story, as it seems central to the whole love/sex scenario to me. Perhaps these stories were written by people that never experienced good sex (because they never had the emotional attachment). But when I am horny, the scenarios that play most often in my imagination are the scenarios that had the biggest emotional impact, the strongest depth of feeling. I remember a girl who bit my lip when she kissed me more then the actual sex that followed.

I dont know, maybe I am just wierd.. I think my mother did drop me on my head when I was younger.. but when I read a story without any emotional aspect, I drop the story and move on to the next one.

And as a hetrosexual male, I read mostly heterosexual stories, and the majority of the ones I find are focused solely on the pleasure, like a porn, without even mentioning the emotional side. But how can there even be pleasure without the emotional side, I wonder.

Anyway, my point is, that this story applies to far more then just girl on girl erotic fiction.. it applies to every piece of erotic fiction. We aren't directing cheap porns here, we are writing quality amature fiction with a sexual focus.

The majority of this essay was very useful. I would like to believe I've learned something that I can apply when/if I attempt to write a lesbian scene. However, a piece of constructive criticism if I may.

While your advice was helpful I, and I assume many others, would benefit greatly if you were to supply a few short examples to illustrate your point. I am aware of the difficulty this can create when addressing certain problems but I am relatively sure that most people respond better when they can view the difference as well as be told about it.

Colleen,

To take the time to reach out to those who make themselves available (also a gracious act) is a very nice thing.

I think underscoring your message is the fact that "erotica" really is in the mind, and the heart... and not a thing of the body - per se. (though the body is a wonderful tool without which we would have no means to do what we do)

I find the most arousing stories excite the mind... and if you add emotional content, well, that just adds to the intensity... and then when you finally get to the physical, it is just awesome! As you say more eloquently than I ever could, this is simply the developemnt that come before, surrounds, permeates and underlies the true act of "generation" - which creates the "total experience."

Anyway:

I have not read any of your stories, etc. (new here!) but I definitely will!

Thanks again!

---bananahead

As one who dearly loves reading about woman-to-woman sexual encounters, too often they are way too porno-oriented or perhaps overly raunchy. Your advice will hopefully help at least some authors to add more of an erotic touch to their efforts, which will almost certainly provide more enjoyment to their readers like myself.

This article was a tremendous help, and I'm glad I was shown it before I started writing. I've had really bad writer's block about the lesbian scene I was hoping to write, but you're sound advice has really helped me out. :)

Such a well written piece of advice. The worst male on male or male to female porn ignores feelings and emotions too. I guess that is the wank-off porn, but in reality most men like to have motive, feeling, etc incorporated. For the female, those 'amplifiers' are more openly discussed and socially acceptable to discuss. As a male, I cannot fuck a woman whom I have no emotional attachment to, neither can I read stories where that is the case too. I'm finding more and more of my (male) friends admitting to this too, so this article could apply to male writing per se. Well done for a well written piece of advice.

This is a piece of advice I can really use: all of my stories, a grand total of 2 so far, feature lesbian sex. I will definately re-read them with your guide next to it.

I appreciate the fact that you took the time to write this out. This was something I always struggled with while scribbling some scenes, but I never really could figure out exactly what was wrong with what I was writing. Maybe now I can give someone a better response than an eye roll. :)

Thanks for the window into the female perspective on writing the lesbian sex scene. I'll give it a go!

I've read some of your works (and have even saved the pages of some while at work so I can go home and read them on my own PC), and they are always very well written. And this advice you're providing for us male writers is quite profound. I invite you to read some of my stuff that I've submitted here to the site and let me know if I've followed the outline that you've given here. Thanks in advance, and thanks also for writing this little piece to help us guys out. B-)

To my mind much of this advice applies to M/F pairings if the writer actually wants to appeal to women; regardless of what genetalia the protagonists have (!) the effect of the writing is so much greater when these things are brought to bear. Nice work.

Thank you for the excellent advice. I think your ideas are relevant to M/F situationsas well, as another poster mentioned. Keep up the good work.

I am glad Colleen wrote this little essay because it answered a lot of my questions that I was going to ask on forum and didn't know how to phrase without coming across as a schlemiel.

Regarding what she said in the second-to-last paragraph, which to me is the essence of the whole thing, I surely can see what Colleen meant. However, I, for one, can have the proper mind set with the best of intentions and attitudes regarding describing the approach of one woman to another, yet really I, as one man, just can't see describing a scene in which I haven't experienced not only the sensations but also the feelings that a woman feels when attracted sexually to another woman.

In other words, a ways back when I was taking writing classes, one of the fundamental things taught to me was that my writing needed to reflect my life's experience. With that in mind, I just cannot see myself even attempting the daunting (good word choice, Colleen) task of writing a lesbian scene that is meaningful and enjoyable to a reader, especially a female one.

However, again, this is just one man speaking, and I cannot possibly speak for all the men out there who can and do write effective lesbian erotica.

Peace,

Steve

Colleen:

In response to: How to write lesbian sex scenes...

I am not a writer, but I do find your “how to re: lesbian story writing” very enlightening. I wish that as a young 20 year old, that I had been given this information... and that would be receptive to these concepts.

Like much of the male population, sex was get me off, my enjoyment, go to sleep, too bad for you lady... then do it again, with no concern nor understanding of the frustration this created for "my lady".

40 years later, I understand the importance of emotional response, don’t be in a hurry, and lack of preparation. But this understanding is not from a "author's viewpoint", but from life. These are life principles, essential for real life erotic sexual satisfaction for everyone concerned. And it is not restricted to female/female sex.

Do not know about the “male/male” connection application, but for the male/female relationship to be mutually fulfilling, it also requires these elements. For women it is the emotion/mental side and for the men it is the physical/visual side.

I love lesbian stories, porno, etc. In my opinion, no man is able to capture what a woman can capture, create or express when it comes to loving women. So, I select lesbian stories written by women, and porno that have women writers and directors.

Sorry guys, but we just are not in the same league when comes to women loving women.

Colleen, thanks for your contribution. In addition to this article, you are one of the best writers of lesbian stories. To anyone who has not read any of Colleen's stories – my strong suggestion is to do it now. You will not be disappointed. And if you are attentive, like i am, you will learn skills to be a better lover and a great satisfier of the erotic needs of women!

Chaz, TX

...and reading some of her stories (I'm still going through them), I would suggest to any needing an example, that they read, "The Wreck," by this same author. As I read this "how to," I kept recalling several scenes from that story as I read each of the explanations given here.

I do write these stories and I'm delighted to read this article. Yes, we all want to see sex in erotic stories, but as women emotions are incredibly important to us and the emotional buildup my characters experience, the light touches, the occasional kiss, the non-direct hit touches, those are as important a part of the story and hopefully as erotic as the actual 'sex'. I do believe if you leave the sex out you will be cheating the readers, but it's only one part of the whole girl/girl lovemaking experience.

Kate Richards

Thank you for writing this. I'll definetely take note of this for future reference.

I would say that not only this great advice for writing female on female erotica that appeals to women, but honestly, great advice for erotica that appeals to anyone who appreciates more dimension to their read.

I'm definitely taking notes.

Great information, sorry the rating came out wrong.

Observed that it's good advice for writing any erotica that appeals to anyone who appreciates more dimension to their read. I would think that the reason one is reading erotica is to have their mind stimulated. Isn't that why one would be on literotica, rather than utilizing the abundant free video sites out there? I like to watch porn as much as the next guy, but why read or write erotica if it isn't to get in somebody's head?

I've reviewed thousands of lesbian stories in fanfiction alone, and haven't often bothered with the ones that warrant the 'back' button. I have abandoned a story in the middle of a sex scene because it was so ridiculous and that it took me right out of the story. One example from a new story in Literotica went something like this:

[Shy, new, virgin is main character. . .]

"I looked into the mirror at my size double D tits and nice ass...from what I've been told anyway..."

And then, well, I don't know much about what happened after, in this particular author's defense, she didn't bang the cheerleaders on the floor of the school bathroom (though there was a moment where it was a definite possibility), but for being the shy, virgin, she quickly was overtaken by her 'teenage hormones' (a trait of boys, more than girls... it's the cougars that earn that title for a reason), and didn't really hesitate 'much' in calling herself a "dirty slut, your dirty slut, please use me!!!" (or something like that).

Anyway, yeah, really a comedy.

Please do not lump in gay erotica with heterosexual erotica. The sensuality that I incorporate into my stories, and the stories I read are a testament to how wrong you are.

I find it repugnant that while asking others to focus upon the sensuality of women, you discard and reject the notion of masculine sensuality.

Shame on you.

Helpful information - thank you. I'm contemplating what I need to rework in one of mine now.

BTW "it's going to go over like a lead balloon" <-- that is a mixed metaphor. Lead Balloons go down, not over.

This was a lot of good information and good points to consider.

Thanks.

I was struggling how to make a legitimate lesbian sex story. This helps me greatly.

You're doing god's work. :)

I'm glad I found this because I've been asking for weeks and the most people suggest is "just keep writing and don't make it a male fantasy." That's bullshit advice, but this was actually quite educating and helpful.

I skimmed this article, and found it to be most useful; but here's the difficulty. Now, I'm a guy who tends to ironically hate the sex-act with the deepest passion, but that's not the question, the question is thus: "Why in the world would hatred or dislike between women lead to them hugging and/or kissing to begin with?" I ask that because if you dislike/hate someone else (not that you ever should! But if you did/do) why in the world would you want to kiss them or be in any way tender with them? In all likelihood, if females are something akin to us males in how we respond to emotions like anger, dislike, and/or hatred, then the urge would be to *punch* her, as hard as you could, or to *kick* her, or simply to (and this is horrible) *kill* her, rather than to *kiss* her in the first place.

I'm completely confused by that and would really like to understand my feminine neighbors' thought processes and attitudes on this detail, as it baffles me to no end as to why two women who share an extreme dislike would even concieve of going to bed with oneanother in the first place, and if they did, it'd only be so they themselves could survive, and they'd likely each make sure they have a knife on hand shoud the other make a move on them to begin with!

This fascinates me, but it completely confuses me too.

Sincerely eager to comphrehend;

Nurek.

She could have us fooled? A talented male writer disguised as CT? Hmm never know do we?

Colleen - Thank you for writing this. One of the most frustrating things (and un-erotic things) to me as a reader and writer is when two characters wind up getting it on with no clear rationale for doing so, other than they're in an erotic story and are probably horny, particularly when a taboo is being broken (best friends don't decide to have sex on a whim, cousins don't wind up in bed with each other just because they're both needy, people don't cheat on their spouses just because they're on a business trip, same-sex partnerships, etc.). I want some sort of motivation for these two specific characters to get together, and I think this applies to most every story, not just lesbian ones (but it's certainly a good point for lesbian stories!).

I think this advise is useful not only for lesbian stories or those aimed at a female audience but for written erotica in general. People tend to forget there acutally should be be some kind of (at least partially) logical plot even in porn. Describing characters's emotions and reasoning behind their actions is definitely as (I'd say more) important as the acutal sex parts of a storie. A well written story can compensate a lackluster description of the sex itself, keeping the reader engaged. This doesn't work the other way for me. Having 2 people just go for each other without emotional buildup or any reasoning can ruin even an otherwise perfect sex scene.

Thanks. I needed to read that.

Here's a puzzle: Lots of men enjoy female to female sex in fantasy because there are no other guys between them and their object of desire. Other men want to identify strongly with the male protagonist. But writing female-female sex scenes should require that the writer empathizes, even envisions themself as the characters. Many men, especially if they are mentally in a sexual space, are pretty wary about pretending to be women. For some men that may be a strong secret turn on. Being very vulnerable is also a challenge for a lot of men.

I find that the best way through is to focus on the character as a person rather than as a vehicle to get to the action of the story. If you have a dom and an innocent, get next to how it might feel to control another, or have someone push you around. If that makes you uncomfortable use those feelings in your story. If old friends are going beyond boundaries then really pay attention to each boundary. Pushing a lock of hair off her forehead is a thing. Asking to see a new tattoo. Joking about shaving or waxing. Becoming conscious that your nipples are sensitive and brushing the fabric of your blouse. Getting moist down below has to be disturbing if it hasn't happened before with that person. And wouldn't there be quite a bit of wonder in seeing someone's most intimate parts? Especially if you are *not supposed* to be getting excited about them?

Also remember that as we get older we are willing to take more time, but that women reach their greatest ferocity between 38 and 58. And older gals can be really hungry for it, but as you indicate, with deep and often conflicting emotions. I echo on much you say in my "How To Write Erotica" and other How To writing. Thanks. More.

Very helpful, thanks!

It's a shame you are no longer here writing. I do wonder what you would think of my 'Ria' stories and a few others. 5 star advice here. Well done.