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How To Write Lesbian Sex Scenes

byColleen Thomas©
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Comments (38)
by Anonymous

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by jimd5106/04/04

It works well no matter who the partners are.

I am looking at some of the scenes I currently have in stories and applying your thoughts and insight there as well. I find that it applys to hetro sex scenes as far as character enjoyment and bringing more life to the scene.

Thanks for the Help

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by doormouse06/04/04

Totally agree.

This text could be used to enhance hetro scenes also.

Too many stories I've seen, and yes, used the backspace to find a better story, have in fact been 'shallow' with no real connection between the two leads.

Well thought out and I'm sure will help many writers.

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by Lori Baby06/05/04

So True

This was very well done. Some of the points seem obvious to me as a female writer, but you can't overstate the necessity of the emotional component. But then I never write a story without first having that feeling for another woman. It's what drives me to write in the first place. But I am probably guilty of some of the other pitfalls listed myself.

Thanks much for doing this.

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by cloudy06/05/04

Well done!

All of your suggestions work for any story, actually. Women are much more hooked into the emotions of things, it seems. Really good article!

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by 06/05/04

Wonderful work!

Colly does it again!

This how-to story is filled with excellent information for anyone who wishes to write a quality girl/girl scene.

Excellent attention to detail!

Well done!

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by Rumple Foreskin06/06/04

To WhatThe Other Dudes and/or Dudettes Said...

...I say, me too.

It's just like the author, a classy piece of work.

Rumple Foreskin

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by lucky-E-leven06/21/04

Not the winner?

No wonder! I always just assumed the first one to the clitoris was indeed the winner. It all makes sense to me now.

just kidding *grins*

Thanks for taking the time to write this. I thought I knew what I was doing but now maybe I can smooth out the rough edges. *wink*

~lucky

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by Anonymous10/23/04

Fantastic

Ms Thomas
I had to send a breif comment on both your article and the two stories of yours I have read thus far (Football Widow, Ride On).

They are with out a doubt the finest lesbian erotica I have read.

As for the how to article, i could not stop nodding my head. I have never written erotica, but I certainly know what i like, and you desribed it perfectly.

Thank you for sharing yor stories with us.

Mark

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by SomeOneNew10/29/04

All-around good advice

What struck me about your comments is that they are appropriate suggestions for all narrative writing, not necessarily just lesbian erotica, nor even just erotica. This is not to take anything away from your comments; on the contrary, they are universally good advice. The difference between good and less well-done stories more often than not is characterization (assuming that the writer has any sort of command of the language in the first place) or the lack thereof. And most guys are more visual, I think; women more visceral, usually (of course there are exceptions). But regardless of truisms, who doesn't like the sight of a great butt :)

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by hmmnmm12/26/04

just what I was looking for

very helpful.
Such has been a fascination (no surprise) for a long time and sometimes I try to write it, but hesitant to expose it because of the danger of my lack of firsthand knowledge ruining it. Instead of enjoying, the random woman reader is laughing at best, going away bored less best.
Yes, very helpful.
Thanks!

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by the_tx_professor01/12/05

Excellent!!!

I have often wondered if my ability to write a lesbian scene was in need of impovement. I have asked women who have read my stuff their opinions, but have never seen is spelled out in such an articulate way. Thank you.

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by silverwhisper04/05/05

truly masterful

absolutely brilliant stuff, and as one of the commenters noted, applies in most respects to non-lesbian erotica as well.

colleen, that article is a fantastic service to aspiring writers everywhere. your dedication to your craft, as exemplified by your having written this in the first place, is obvious.

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by Anonymous05/09/05

Very Helpful

This will not only hopefully allow me to improve my own stories but also gives me a great insight into why your stories are so compelling. I think it is not just women that will get a better experience if writers remember these simple tips but us men can be dragged much deeper into the world as well.
Thankyou
Jon

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by Anonymous05/12/05

It didn't help

I just received an anonymous feedback telling me that I wrote a great lesbian story until the sex came in on the third page where it went flat, and suggested I read your essay. Since he was anon I had no way to tell the person that I had already read this before (like I have everything you have up here) and have now re-read it. Unfortunately, reading your advice no more makes me adept at writing a lesbian sex scene than walking into a garage makes me a mechanic. Still and all, it's great advice even if not easily adapted. Therein lies the problem; I've seen the seduction attempts and the messages sent between women, but never experienced the actual act. That's why I think I'll stay in the areas where I have a little more experience in.

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by Domeneque06/19/05

Big Help :)

I'm a relativly new writer for literotica and i've just put a story up with parts of lesbian sex in (it pending at the moment). I was kind of abit afraid people wont like it because it has more action with toys and feelings. I like to make sure the things i think of have a plot as well. It was a big help too. Keep up the good work!

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by Anonymous08/16/05

Emotional feeling

I am a guy I and cannot speak for the rest of mankind but for me one of the biggest components of sex is the emotional aspect. I think this depth of feeling you speak of is certianly not limited to women and I may even go so far as to say that its not even stronger in women then it is in men. It could be that it is stronger in people who have stronger imaginations.

I notice this flaw in the vast majority of amature erotic literature attempts. For some reason, most erotic writers dont have a solid understanding or even desire to represent the emotional side of the sex. I dont understand what it is that causes people to overlook this aspect of the erotic story, as it seems central to the whole love/sex scenario to me. Perhaps these stories were written by people that never experienced good sex (because they never had the emotional attachment). But when I am horny, the scenarios that play most often in my imagination are the scenarios that had the biggest emotional impact, the strongest depth of feeling. I remember a girl who bit my lip when she kissed me more then the actual sex that followed.

I dont know, maybe I am just wierd.. I think my mother did drop me on my head when I was younger.. but when I read a story without any emotional aspect, I drop the story and move on to the next one.

And as a hetrosexual male, I read mostly heterosexual stories, and the majority of the ones I find are focused solely on the pleasure, like a porn, without even mentioning the emotional side. But how can there even be pleasure without the emotional side, I wonder.

Anyway, my point is, that this story applies to far more then just girl on girl erotic fiction.. it applies to every piece of erotic fiction. We aren't directing cheap porns here, we are writing quality amature fiction with a sexual focus.

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by Sapen Namen11/11/05

Mostly helpful

The majority of this essay was very useful. I would like to believe I've learned something that I can apply when/if I attempt to write a lesbian scene. However, a piece of constructive criticism if I may.

While your advice was helpful I, and I assume many others, would benefit greatly if you were to supply a few short examples to illustrate your point. I am aware of the difficulty this can create when addressing certain problems but I am relatively sure that most people respond better when they can view the difference as well as be told about it.

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by Anonymous03/18/06

Thanks!

Colleen,

To take the time to reach out to those who make themselves available (also a gracious act) is a very nice thing.

I think underscoring your message is the fact that "erotica" really is in the mind, and the heart... and not a thing of the body - per se. (though the body is a wonderful tool without which we would have no means to do what we do)

I find the most arousing stories excite the mind... and if you add emotional content, well, that just adds to the intensity... and then when you finally get to the physical, it is just awesome! As you say more eloquently than I ever could, this is simply the developemnt that come before, surrounds, permeates and underlies the true act of "generation" - which creates the "total experience."

Anyway:

I have not read any of your stories, etc. (new here!) but I definitely will!

Thanks again!

---bananahead

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by Dumpington03/29/06

Thanks for the good advice, Colleen!

As one who dearly loves reading about woman-to-woman sexual encounters, too often they are way too porno-oriented or perhaps overly raunchy. Your advice will hopefully help at least some authors to add more of an erotic touch to their efforts, which will almost certainly provide more enjoyment to their readers like myself.

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by Trombonus08/27/06

Thanks

This article was a tremendous help, and I'm glad I was shown it before I started writing. I've had really bad writer's block about the lesbian scene I was hoping to write, but you're sound advice has really helped me out. :)

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by Anonymous09/11/06

thanks - the reality is most men need emotions too

Such a well written piece of advice. The worst male on male or male to female porn ignores feelings and emotions too. I guess that is the wank-off porn, but in reality most men like to have motive, feeling, etc incorporated. For the female, those 'amplifiers' are more openly discussed and socially acceptable to discuss. As a male, I cannot fuck a woman whom I have no emotional attachment to, neither can I read stories where that is the case too. I'm finding more and more of my (male) friends admitting to this too, so this article could apply to male writing per se. Well done for a well written piece of advice.

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by DarkBee10/27/06

Now this is some good advice

This is a piece of advice I can really use: all of my stories, a grand total of 2 so far, feature lesbian sex. I will definately re-read them with your guide next to it.

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by el_falco_vermell05/07/07

Nice work

I appreciate the fact that you took the time to write this out. This was something I always struggled with while scribbling some scenes, but I never really could figure out exactly what was wrong with what I was writing. Maybe now I can give someone a better response than an eye roll. :)

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by LeCoach12/21/07

good advice

Thanks for the window into the female perspective on writing the lesbian sex scene. I'll give it a go!

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by MrImagination01/06/09

Sage advice from a wonderful author

I've read some of your works (and have even saved the pages of some while at work so I can go home and read them on my own PC), and they are always very well written. And this advice you're providing for us male writers is quite profound. I invite you to read some of my stuff that I've submitted here to the site and let me know if I've followed the outline that you've given here. Thanks in advance, and thanks also for writing this little piece to help us guys out. B-)

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by lindtchilli01/06/09

Great advice

To my mind much of this advice applies to M/F pairings if the writer actually wants to appeal to women; regardless of what genetalia the protagonists have (!) the effect of the writing is so much greater when these things are brought to bear. Nice work.

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by Anonymous05/01/09

Great Advice

Thank you for the excellent advice. I think your ideas are relevant to M/F situationsas well, as another poster mentioned. Keep up the good work.

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by lovercat294207/09/10

Thanks for this essay

I am glad Colleen wrote this little essay because it answered a lot of my questions that I was going to ask on forum and didn't know how to phrase without coming across as a schlemiel.

Regarding what she said in the second-to-last paragraph, which to me is the essence of the whole thing, I surely can see what Colleen meant. However, I, for one, can have the proper mind set with the best of intentions and attitudes regarding describing the approach of one woman to another, yet really I, as one man, just can't see describing a scene in which I haven't experienced not only the sensations but also the feelings that a woman feels when attracted sexually to another woman.

In other words, a ways back when I was taking writing classes, one of the fundamental things taught to me was that my writing needed to reflect my life's experience. With that in mind, I just cannot see myself even attempting the daunting (good word choice, Colleen) task of writing a lesbian scene that is meaningful and enjoyable to a reader, especially a female one.

However, again, this is just one man speaking, and I cannot possibly speak for all the men out there who can and do write effective lesbian erotica.

Peace,
Steve

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by Anonymous10/14/10

Advice beyond lesbian erotic literature...

Colleen:
In response to: How to write lesbian sex scenes...

I am not a writer, but I do find your “how to re: lesbian story writing” very enlightening. I wish that as a young 20 year old, that I had been given this information... and that would be receptive to these concepts.

Like much of the male population, sex was get me off, my enjoyment, go to sleep, too bad for you lady... then do it again, with no concern nor understanding of the frustration this created for "my lady".

40 years later, I understand the importance of emotional response, don’t be in a hurry, and lack of preparation. But this understanding is not from a "author's viewpoint", but from life. These are life principles, essential for real life erotic sexual satisfaction for everyone concerned. And it is not restricted to female/female sex.

Do not know about the “male/male” connection application, but for the male/female relationship to be mutually fulfilling, it also requires these elements. For women it is the emotion/mental side and for the men it is the physical/visual side.

I love lesbian stories, porno, etc. In my opinion, no man is able to capture what a woman can capture, create or express when it comes to loving women. So, I select lesbian stories written by women, and porno that have women writers and directors.

Sorry guys, but we just are not in the same league when comes to women loving women.

Colleen, thanks for your contribution. In addition to this article, you are one of the best writers of lesbian stories. To anyone who has not read any of Colleen's stories – my strong suggestion is to do it now. You will not be disappointed. And if you are attentive, like i am, you will learn skills to be a better lover and a great satisfier of the erotic needs of women!

Chaz, TX

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by Anonymous12/10/10

Having just found this writer...

...and reading some of her stories (I'm still going through them), I would suggest to any needing an example, that they read, "The Wreck," by this same author. As I read this "how to," I kept recalling several scenes from that story as I read each of the explanations given here.

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by Anonymous05/11/11

Writing Lesbian Erotica

I do write these stories and I'm delighted to read this article. Yes, we all want to see sex in erotic stories, but as women emotions are incredibly important to us and the emotional buildup my characters experience, the light touches, the occasional kiss, the non-direct hit touches, those are as important a part of the story and hopefully as erotic as the actual 'sex'. I do believe if you leave the sex out you will be cheating the readers, but it's only one part of the whole girl/girl lovemaking experience.
Kate Richards

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by HeyAll10/19/11

Excellent

Thank you for writing this. I'll definetely take note of this for future reference.

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by tendermindholes05/29/12

Wonderful advice.

I would say that not only this great advice for writing female on female erotica that appeals to women, but honestly, great advice for erotica that appeals to anyone who appreciates more dimension to their read.

I'm definitely taking notes.

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by Anonymous11/06/12

Sorry meant to give a 5 star not 1

Great information, sorry the rating came out wrong.

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Tendermineholes...

Observed that it's good advice for writing any erotica that appeals to anyone who appreciates more dimension to their read. I would think that the reason one is reading erotica is to have their mind stimulated. Isn't that why one would be on literotica, rather than utilizing the abundant free video sites out there? I like to watch porn as much as the next guy, but why read or write erotica if it isn't to get in somebody's head?

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by Anonymous05/14/13

Very True!

I've reviewed thousands of lesbian stories in fanfiction alone, and haven't often bothered with the ones that warrant the 'back' button. I have abandoned a story in the middle of a sex scene because it was so ridiculous and that it took me right out of the story. One example from a new story in Literotica went something like this:
[Shy, new, virgin is main character. . .]
"I looked into the mirror at my size double D tits and nice ass...from what I've been told anyway..."
And then, well, I don't know much about what happened after, in this particular author's defense, she didn't bang the cheerleaders on the floor of the school bathroom (though there was a moment where it was a definite possibility), but for being the shy, virgin, she quickly was overtaken by her 'teenage hormones' (a trait of boys, more than girls... it's the cougars that earn that title for a reason), and didn't really hesitate 'much' in calling herself a "dirty slut, your dirty slut, please use me!!!" (or something like that).
Anyway, yeah, really a comedy.

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by Anonymous08/18/13

Leave Gay Erotica Alone

Please do not lump in gay erotica with heterosexual erotica. The sensuality that I incorporate into my stories, and the stories I read are a testament to how wrong you are.

I find it repugnant that while asking others to focus upon the sensuality of women, you discard and reject the notion of masculine sensuality.

Shame on you.

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by Anonymous05/11/14

Helpful - thank you

Helpful information - thank you. I'm contemplating what I need to rework in one of mine now.

BTW "it's going to go over like a lead balloon"

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