All Comments on 'Bobbie'

Too little importance is placed on memories, by some. I hope her sweet music lives on in your head. This painful look into a the reality you're facing moved me. Those random notes might not have been organized or recognizable but it's still her music. Though sad, I found it a touching tribute. *hugs* for your Bobbie and you.

~lucky

and sad.

you wonder what goes on inside their heads....

I very moving poem min

Thank you

You've presented this person's descent into the hell of--I assume--Alzheimer's or the like so subtly. There's something in the spare but precise imagery that lends it such delicate insight. It's really well done, girlfriend. :)

is very moving.

I like to make a suggestion, if you don't mind. I think it may help to remove a few words.

In stanza one, I'd drop "slowly" since shuffling already implies slow movement.

And in stanza two, perhaps there are too many descriptive words for hands: gnarled, stiff, fragile, thin. I really think it would be an improvement to drop one of them. For example:

Stiff hands,

fragile and thin.

In the third stanza, I'd use either "finally" or "haltingly". Both seem to be a bit much.

As I said, suggestions only--very minor ones.

Touching words.

A true piece of art. ;-)

...is your tenth vote, Min, because this poem deserves it. I thought I voted on it already, but I never vote without leaving a comment. Perhaps, I just saw it on the 'passion thread.' It's beautiful, and I also think that Eve's suggestions are quite valid. :kiss:

there are too many such. God will have his black jokes

Another great work from minsue. Very touching for those who have seen the mind of someone they cared for fade away. Well done.

... and straight to the heart. Lovely.

i thought i commented on this too..ages ago.

well..better late then never.

sorry hun, i try to hit the poems that come in everyday..if i miss them..i miss everyones.

last time i was here..there was only a couple posted.

at any rate..lovely stuff min!

said in so few words. Very touching.

This is amazing. Sad, resigned, a bleak reality poignantly expressed so clearly. Wow. Thank you, LJ.

Sharp images with your words here,Min...life's little cruel jokes, huh?

~Honey

And saddens for one who can relate.

Very nicely done.

An Alzheimer's hell

Is not as bad for those with the disease

{they don't remember what they've lost};

The true hell's for those who remember

What the victims used to be.

This poem was mentioned in the Archival Review thread, in a picking through Lit's archive of over 35,000 poems.

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who could be in her band of demons. TK U MLJ LV NV