All Comments on 'Her Secret Crush'

This was great! It had me hard most of the way through it and the story lends itself to more stories to follow.

You do need to have someone read your stories before you submit them. There are alot of grammer errors and missing words that the reader has to figure out what they are. But still got the point across.

Tonny ;)~

Good description of the sexual act. Your writing is a bit sloppy in places and this story is best described as a "Diamond in the Rough". Enormous potential however! Good luck!

I really, really loved your story. As a few ppl said there are a few mistakes, but it still doesn't take away from the story. The sex scene was great, and everything else ofcourse was too. Let's just say...i'm not so dry down there anymore =) Please please write a second part to this story, it'd be great! Mwah, much love!

This is fantastic, it's so delicious. Her feelings are described in realistic detail right from the beginning, and build up and work out beautifully.

Don't worry about the editing too much: they're editing errors, not writing errors, and there's nothing wrong with your writing.

Great description and good work establshing mood. Look forward to the next chapter and the development of the dynamic between the three of them.

Good work. Positioning of the characters seemed a bit hazy, but your other details more than made up for that. Good, solid descriptions, not many grammatical errors, few spelling problems, technical skill as well as artistically written. Good potential for really great work to come.

EtB

Really enjoyed this story. Small editing issues, but they don't detract from the nice, clean, simple, enjoyable storyline at all. There was a big jump in the character relationships from tickling to naked beach to a beach poon by her brother, but you handled it well. Looking forward to reading your other stories soon.

I agree with the other comments. If you'd got the grammar - and the confusion between which boy was which, at one point - sorted out, this would have been excellent. Do you realise you can edit a story and re-submit it? See FAQ

Lucas

At the beginning of the story, could you please get their names straight: Adam, Drew, & Pete, who was what, her old boyfriend?

Liked it!

Honestly I almost didn't read this story. I've read three or four of your other stories and loved them, albeit short and much desiring follow up chapters for them... the main reason being I didn't want to read it is that I really don't like one girl-two guy stories. Stories with multiple guys just turn me off... but seeing as one was her brother I thought I'd give it a try.

Surprise surprise when it turned out to be so beautifully written, sensual and intimate without all of the usual turn-offs that I dislike! This was an excellent piece and wouldn't mind follow up chapters, not necessarily with both guys at the same time but if they were as well written as this one I suppose I still might enjoy it. I especially like how the guys aren't yapping at the mouth constantly, dunno why but it just works!

Thanks for writing this and I hope you write more incest stories (brother/sister, father/daughter) in the future. I'll be bookmarking you! Thanks :)

M@

That was absolutely awesome! :) Hot hot!! :)

Thanks for writing it and sharing with us!!