by Master_Vassago
Very good, HOT!!!! I liked this allot.
Some of the dialouge(SP) between Steve and Dave was a bit cumbersome to read wich took away from the overall enjoyment and the few typos too, I wanted to give you 100 but these things took away from the story.
A little more editing and work on dialouge and it would be perfect.
Thank You
Can't wait to see what happens.
CW
The one thing that I totally enjoy about your stories is that emotions are part and parcel. They make reading them believeable.
I enjoy all your writings.....thank you Sir.
I just think, eh, don't worry about it - we don't submit things here 'ready to print' - we submit them 'ready to read' - as long as it's readable, it's all good.
And by the way... it's 'dialogue' and 'which' ;-)
SN
Wow i loved it, excellent if not a bit too good, which makes me wonder if maybe these stories are beased on real events. By the way nice name who came up with it ?:P lol
Wow i loved it, excellent if not a bit too good, which makes me wonder if maybe these stories are beased on real events. By the way nice name who came up with it ?:P lol
excellent but definitely needs to be continued. I'm on the edge of my seat hoping to see what happens next.
You have a natural form and excellent writing style. I only hope that I could match it some day. Please continue this story line. It was so intense that I felt like I was David in the story. Many times have I wished to do the same to my wife as Dave did to his, but only in my dreams and fantasies. Maybe some day with out the adultery involved will that come about. Do continue with your writing, I look forward to it soon.
These chapters made up for the first. You had me Sir, as I thought Dave was too wimpy, but He improved rapidly and with great skill. Please add more chapters to this series-- can hardly wait to see what happens next. This is sooo hot !!
Great story throughout. Looked as though it could easily be continued but sadly not so far.