All Comments on 'Bought & Paid For Ch. 01'

Very nice!!! I would like to see continuations of this theme. This story was just the right length for an introduction but will need at least five more episodes.

i loved this story, and i want to read more, a whole lot more. thank you.

This one was great! Can we have more of the like? Thank you!

oooh god ..............u r too good

i've read your sapphira and sin series, and decided to explore further---just adore your stuff! it's got plot but also detail and i like that quite a bit ;) can't wait to see what happens.

i dont see how he could of been fingering her with three fingers and not noticed a hymen, or ripped it for that matter.

Just a few odds and ends that I think that I think make no sense.

“Working as an escort wasn't earning her enough to support the insurmountable debt that was her father's legacy.”

But, later in the story, the Risk fellow does a lot of finger fucking, and eventually puts his cock in her cunt. Then:   “Risk stilled atop her, realizing too late that she was a virgin“. WTF?? Escort, and several fingers, but “still a virgin”? Hmm...

Elsewhere, “Ivory took the bate”. What's a bate?? Perhaps “bait”?

Then, "Ivory" changes names!

“Teel walked back into the living room and stood by the columns framing the left side of the floor to ceiling windows done in tinted glass. She leaned her head against one of the columns and was drifting in and out of thoughts about Risk.”  Next paragraph, however, she's Ivory again. What gives? Who is Teal?

Then, a misplaced modifier: (As in "I once knew a lady with a wooden leg named Smith"):

“They walked out to where his sleek Jaguar was parked in silence” The Jaguar was parked in silence? Or did THEY (Risk and Ivory – or Teel?) walk in silence? (I think you meant “They walked out in silence...etc”).

Elsewhere, “Risk easily brushed past her punitive attempts to still him from his goal and was pleasantly surprised to find that she was readily accessible. “ Do you you mean puny? “Punitive” means punishing, which makes no sense in this situation, but "puny" would make sense. Look up "malapropism".

Plot and characters OK, but re-reading and editing is needed.

All the best. Appreciate your effort. Please keep at it!

Sorry, I have to say the anonymous comments made about the silent jaguar and wooden leg of ms smith did make me giggle.

I am indeed confused with the hymen, escort issue and three fingers (were they those retractable fingers like you get with fake knives? Hehehe)

Although there are mistakes and although I feel gutted that your prince story is unfinished, this one isn't that bad. I've read some real crap on here of which I would happily beat the author to death with his/her computer but your stories are worth continuing with.

Not being an author myself but aspiring to write like doctor wolf, I therefore, commend you on your work.

I really like the story except for two things:

The ridiculous names keep reminding me that this is just a story instead of letting me get lost in it. Risk? Really? Ivory because of her glistening skin? Corny? Teel would have been even worse.

The second thing, like others mentioned, is that she is a escort and yet a virgin. She willingly gambles her virginity and doesn't even mention to him that she is a virgin. He somehow doesn't become aware of this when he is fingering her "deeply" so he thrusts into her roughly and she just obligingly asks for more? Why does she have to be a virgin? It would have been a practically flawless beginning if you weren't stuck on that point.

We will see how the following chapters go, but as a start I say 5 stars.

How could she be both a virgin and working as an escort?

Awesome