All Comments on 'Stone'

I have no idea how the first, incomplete and unformatted version got posted. Simply ignore it, and start with the second "A letter home from prison".

This version was inexplicably messed up in posting. I have submitted a corrected version. The poem should have looked something like this, with indentations:

Stone

- A letter home from prison

Like two hearts

waiting to be

freed from stone

etched by some sculptor's hand

we stand

apart

yet are one

and the stone

breathes

were meant to be, almost like this was right, I like the melancholy feel to the *accidental* repetition, like maybe a wish that was repeated without even realizing it. good work :)

The final line is a little too sappy for me, so I liked it better without-- the image of stone as both sculptor's raw material and as prison wall was stronger that way. Maria makes an interesting observation, too: the repetition with slight edit rings of aimless time behind bars and adds a longing feel.

Did she wait?

I love your prison poems, and this is no exception. I enjoyed both versions actually, I thought the first was the letter, and the second was maybe the receiver turning the letter into a poem (which is a cool idea for a poem now I think about it...)

all of them.

~and the stone breathes~

may be " sappy, but it, or it's equivalent, is needed to close the poem.

In my opinion,

: )

even having it repeated twice was a nice touch

A fortuitous accident indeed

nice work

I thought the two letters were on purpose. It gives the poem an intense longing.

what some of the commenters observed, may be worthwhile pursueing, as a thought, maybe some trimming in the first, a little more fleshing out in the second, I kind of agree the stones breathing may be a little two much.

sort of like when a famous person farts, and everyone tries to figue out what you been eating from it....

I like the version you wanted posted... solid, captive, yet the promise of life. Funny how an error can bring so much comment.....ain't this place grand?