by britisha_luvs_anl
Good start; makes me want to read the rest(?)...I hope any add'l chapters get more into the sex part
You will love the picture being painted for us! Be paint and enjoy the ride!
not a bad start but sort of a let down because it doesn't lead to any steamy coupling as of the moment. which i gather would be in the next installment. but most readers want more tantalizing bits to linger on if you don't get into any sex. so you need to build the sexual tension either higher or sooner.
a decent beginning of a chapter of a story. You have ingredients to make a good story, but there isn't enough of it written to offer any useful rating or constructive criticism. Because of what is not in this so-called chapter, it belongs in the Non-Erotic category.
You have created a home for my attention and desires. Great writing and I will continue to read until the end! Thank you!