by jack30341
A bit long on the build-up, for the amount of action. Waiting for 03, now!
Lukas
the build up to the surrender is everything. finally a writer who gets it.
awesome part 2. nice effect with the mirror in the bedroom. well done.
part 3?
Very good! The phone sex could h ave been more drawn out.
We still have not heard much about how frustrated she is with Dad.
I guess I agree about not bringing sister in, except maybe later to shut her up. (Having her secuce Dad is pretty old.) But Dad does have to be dealt with if Mom is to have a baby.
I'd like to see him take Mom out dancing, make her show off w/o panties, be sexier than the college girls. Friends wold envy him for screwing a grwon woman, not knowing it is his Mom.
Loved both parts. The way you described the characters and how things started was very hot and erotic. I'm
looking forward to parts 3, 4, 5, etc.
I could not help but dream of my son as I read this and I dream of the day we can match this story
Both of these stories had me cumming. Please write more and keep it like your are the quite naughty , were not supposed to do this type. Maybe by chapter 4 mom can do the same seduction to the daughter and so on and so on.
Every once in a while there is a writer who knows that erotica can be at its most potent when the sexual act is not the center of the story. Jack clearly is aware of this and his stories are testament to how stimulating seduction can be. Can't wait for continuations of his stories but will also understand if Jack feels the stories have already done their job because they have!
I liked the story, but the whole thing was over way too soon, things were getting good and then all of a sudden it was like "he pushed it in and they fucked. the end" Bit disappointing there. But other than that, great story ;)
....next and how it feels then go out and get some experience.
Well Done
So many of the stories involve things happening on the spur of the moment. This story is really good because it has conversations between the mom and son about committing incest together at some point, which IMO heightens the anticipation they both feel, waiting for when the right opportunity arrives.
...Dining Room scene )somewhat un-believable but the rest was great.
I'm jealous.
you stop at the ending leave a reader thinking what happen next.were they happy,sad or what.begainings of your stories are long that why i'm comfuse about the ending.good stories thanks for writing them.
This is a great story of motherfucking by a gifted writer who's really into the thrill of this most exciting sex of all! What can compare to the rush a son feels, from his toes to his head, and especially in his dick and balls, when he thinks about his own mother's cunt and what he's going to shove up into it? Or how a mother's cunt gets all wet and mushy when she thinks of what her boy's got bouncing around in his pants, and how great it'll feel shoved up between her legs? Mom's lust just grows when she sees Jack hard under his fly, something all mothers love to see in their virile young son. And mom's so proud that her boy's big stiff prick is all for her! Jack's dad's day is over, it's time for the son's fat stiff cock to take its rightful place up his mother's warm wet twat. At his age Jack's balls never quit, and his mom yearns for Jack to spurt all that rich ball cream of his up where it belongs, up its natural home, his mother's thirsty cunt! She loves her son's manly self-confidence--"I'm going fuck you like you've never been fucked before!" Like all boys the first time they fuck mom, Jack's amazed at how great his dick feels embedded in all that warm wonderful mommy-cunt, finally unloading his big balls up his own birth canal! "A mother's twat is her son's playground," as the saying goes, and Jack and his mom both know that his potent balls will be making lots more big creamy puddles in his playground from now on!
A great story, had a nice flow and a realistic feel to it. I know the pleasure of (writing) a "one-off" encounter, but this story has room for further development (dad wants to butt-fuck his golfing buddies, divorce, dad dies--sorry dad but we have already determined that you are a throwaway character). I also think your writing would improve as you tackle a longer form. Comments notwithstanding, you did a very nice job at telling a story! Best of luck to you!
THIS STORY IS TOO DAMN SHORT. AND IT IS SO DAMN GOOD!!!! PLEASE WRITE MORE WITH THESE CHARACTERS AND STORY LINE. MORE TEASING AND ORAL. THANK LOADS :)
This was a good story with great build-up however, it really needs more chapters as there are many possibilities for this story to go. Keep writing more and have the son take control of mom, have her yearning for his manhood and begging for more time with her son.
I'm noticing that too many of your offerings feel very rushed. Why are you in such a hurry? Let your characters savor the build-up, and your readers too. At least try to build some tension in the story before bringing everything to a quick, premature climax.
Also, be careful about your narrative. In the restaurant scene the mother was pantiless. Later, when she and her son undress in his bedroom, she's wearing a bra and panties. That's a major no-no. Bare minimum, if your defense is that she put her panties on in the restaurant while the son was in the restroom, fine, but you have to include that description in the story. You can't ask the reader to assume it, not after you had the mother make such a big production out of revealing to her son that she'd ditched her panties for him.
You have a talent for writing sexy descriptions, but you need to slow down. We're not reading these things in the toilet stall of some sleazy gas station john. You have our attention, and we're not going anywhere. You don't need to cut to the chase barely a half page in.
needs a lot more content. Make it last over the whole weekend use oral or anal not just one quick time but several encounters.
Please consider taking this story (as well as the other 'shorties' you've written) further. I want to read about their continuing intimacy...
I looked back, and saw that I wrote this in September of 2004. Twelve years ago. Amazing, huh?
I too would love to read more of the short stories second chapters(or more) some of your tales are a really great start to what could be a very loving relationship
all and all it was decent had a good starting point but the ending needs some work as well as the middle basically needs more of a story line
This chapter proved to be everything I expected it would, except that I had been hoping it would have ended with something like 'stay tuned - additional mom and son's incestuous relationship to follow'.
Thank you for such a wonderful, intimate story of mother and son passion!
And we’re all waiting for the finishing chapters. How does the weekend end? How does hubbys
weekend compare? And where did his sister go if both Mom & Dad are away? What are the chances
Mom gets preggers? How do the relationships evolve: Mom-Jack, Mom-Dad, bro-sis(!), Dad-Son?
Would I have the time, I would finish this for 30341. Any one else want to help this author?