All Comments on 'Amaranthine'

...for me, the line breaks and compression got in the way of the poem. Because of your line breaks, natural pauses in the delivery seemed hard to find, and I felt like I had to work too hard.

I'm wondering what it the poem would be like, if you broke the lines where there are natural pauses in the images. I think a little tinkering will give you a finer reading poem without compromising the "voice".

and it's mentioned on the new poems thread. Was this supposed to be under erotic instead of non?

*no thermometer

but there were so many T's ( in that one part), it took something away from the rest of the poem

its beautiful.... and the best gift

Here the 'scene' is played out in highly stylized fashion.

When their lust turned to love ~ the two became one.