All Comments on 'Jesse's Girl'

by archibael

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  • 3 Comments
AnonymousAnonymousover 19 years ago
Needs more work

No Mind Control noted. Hinted at in the story, but, doesn't come out & say the YL is mindcontroled. Needs much more work.

AnonymousAnonymousover 18 years ago
Nothing To Do With Mind Control

The story goes nowhere with a disappointing ending. Write about how he got Cathy through some devious method, write about how Jesse turned tables on him, write about how Cathy straigtened him out... but PLEASE, add some plot twists and turns to tell an interested story.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 17 years ago
nice

I think it was brilliant.

Anonymous
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Grew up in Michigan, now live in Arizona. Engineer, writing on the side. "I will spend half an hour putting a seam onto a stocking and two minutes on a man's face. I know my priorities." -- Jack Vettriano, Studio Life If you enjoy my work, please leave feedback.