All Comments on 'An Office Party'

by biggun76

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  • 2 Comments
Black TulipBlack Tulipover 19 years ago
Nice story

It's a nice enough story, but I missed some attention to the girl's body. No harm in making it a bit longer to give your readers some more details.

Good luck.

sacksackover 19 years ago
Longer please!

There are many many office party stories around, so the problem is making yours stand out from the bunch. A Truth or Dare game, Strip Poker scene, 3 chicks, 1 guy, whatever it takes. This could have been longer and more erotic. Definitely keep writing! I have two contest entries, The Mask (funny) and Who Killed Lois Laynes? a murder mystery. Feel free to comment/make suggestions. Best, Sack

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