All Comments on 'Goodbye, La La Land'

Well, you are wrong!

I don't know what ChilledVodka is smoking but I loved this piece. I would like to know what happens with Gary and Kathleen in the future, any plans for that? You took the time to explain the characters emotions and I liked that alot. I'd gladly read 6 more pages of this Rubbish LOL.

This story beautifully captures those painful, anxious, and exquisite feelings unique to youth and innocence. The characters are vivid, quirky, and endearing, and had me in tense anticipation. And the sex is delightfully real and hot.

You have done a beautiful thing in this story and I applaud you. It is obvious that a great deal of work went into it and it is virtually error-free.

Pure smut? Not at all. A true piece of quality writing!

Passionate and truthful. Made me happy.

-K

sigh that was beautiful ..... keep on writing

Aaw'. Now 'ain't that sweet. But it really is .This sort of plotline may not appeal to everybody and it would not normally grab me. One has to acknowledge however, a very professionally crafted piece. You clearly put a lot of work into it.

... have never mixed as well. Exceptional work, M. Very "real" characters.

The hard work and concentration that went into this story really show. It's beautifully planned and written with a deep and moving story. Human characters in real situations with honest confusion and regret are not antithetical to sexiness - MLyons proves it!

Getting into the head of two very intelligent and sexual beings was extremely well articulated and went beyond the shared experience to truely visceral retelling of what felt like a true awakening. I liked the girl being the primary masturbator in the beginning and having the courage to pull this shy boy into her life.

Keep writing and keep your characters as real in your La La Land as you do with this glorious story.

Simply, that was beautiful.

That was so beautiful. It bought tears to my eyes. So well down, well written, all that good stuff. I hope you write a sequel. I now have to go see what else you've written. Wonderful, simply wonderful. So much heart and soul put into those characters. You made them real. Please write more.

Magnificent. Simply put, I don't see why it's not the #1 rated story on this site.

I loved it and Romeo and Juliet would have loved it. Thank you.

The characters were so real, amazing story, definatly deserves to be #1(which it is)

MLyons, you've heard this from me before but just wanted to say Congratulations! Your hard work paid off. You've created a couple of affable, quirky, warm characters. I liked them, I wanted good things to happen for them. It's a romantic, sexy story with loads of appeal. The pace is good and kept the story moving along, building the tension between their encounters in a very realistic way. You've got a great eye for the detail that makes those encounters so fine, the things they notice about each other, the slightly stumbling dialogue, the rush of confusing emotions all capture the excitement of their blossoming attraction beautifully. Well done.

Amazing... words can't even describe how truely awesome your work is.

Absoultely amazing, nearly flawless, this right here is what makes literotica special.

Very very good. Conjured up lots of lovely memories for me. Thanks.

Absolutely stunning - I love the way it builds up over time, rather than just 'the deed' and that's it. This story is just brilliant!

I've never commented on anyones work before. Then again, I've never read a better story on here, ever! Wow, just wow. I was so engrossed in it. Honestly, it was just amazing. It made me cry even! I loved all of it, it was incredible. I really enjoyed it. The characters were, SO realistic, I think that just made it more amazing. Usually I just skim over some of the stories because they get boring and they just seem too... I don't know. Dull. Hands down, this story is a gem. Keep up the GREAT work!!!!!

I love the way MLyons fleshes out his characters, it makes the story that much hotter. A great read, very enjoyable. Thanks MLyons, and keep up the excellent work.

This story spoke to me a lot, me being still a teenager myself. I related to the characters a lot especially, since it was a very realistic portrayal of how two completely average teens might experience their first time together. Awesome job!

You have a talent for exposing the hollow bluster of the loud kids , blowing them away with the quiet passion of your hero . A rare gem of a story , thanks for sharing it with us MLyons .

This is clearly, without a doubt, the best submission I have read on this site.

Undoubtedly the best submission I have ever read on this site. When you write part 2 I want to know about it. Keep up the good work.

I must say it IS the best story i've read on this site from the very start!

I has to be autobiographical for everything just seem so real, as if they both (Kath & Gary) had taken their quill and write down this wonderful experience they both shared!!

I almost cried, and it's quite uncommon on front of a computer screen.

In other words, WOW!!

MLyons, I'll track down your other stories, strangely hoping they won't be better than this one 'cause my poor heart will drop and shatter on the floor...

Keep it up!!

Twenty-Two

I won't repeat the other readers' comments. Just one thing:

MORE PLEASE!

Whether it's Goodbye La La Land Part 2 or some other story along these lines, you can't stop now.

Great work mate.

Perfect. Whole. Complete. I don't have words to tell you how much this story affected me. I have never felt so much of what the characters feel or been so able to relate. Thank you.

Cliche title, but it fits. You are a rare find indeed. The perfect balance between character development and sexual content made this submission fabulous. What detail! ...You even spaced the "conversation quotes" correctly... and the lack of spelling errors, the wit, and the genuine story line sucked me in before I knew it. How sad that it had to end! More?

Simply amazing, absolutely perfect. The entire thing is wonderful, simply astounding...

and every one well-deserved for this tender aching tale of young love. Sex, but with a story. Fantasy, but with a pure strain of reality. And, I just gotta say it, the care lavished on this lengthy piece perfectly befits its other attributes--nigh faultless grammar and spelling. Congratulations all around to the author and "editorial board"!

You are an extremely talented writer. In such a short story, you manage to bring all of these characters to life and make me feel as though they really exist! The romance between Kath and Gary is sweet, and very real in its awkwardness and uncertainty. I enjoyed every sentence of this story, and I was truly sad to see it end.

*wipes a tear from his eye* Lucky man Gary is. My god, that had to be the greatest story I have ever read in my life, and ive read alot. you were not like the rest of these sex-hungry idiots around here! no, this story actually had plot. I am very impressed especially with the decision to wait until the last two chapters. I also have to comment on the part there in the last chapter after the two had come together, where that little remark about it being just sex. I swear i heard a shotgun blast to his heart while reading it. pure genius. keep them coming!in fact, if u havent already done so, why not continue the story so that Kelly tries to seduce him away from Kath. hey u dont have to, it's just a suggestion, but u never know i think it might do well with an author like you behind it. but yeah keep at it, write about another twenty of these and you got urself a book to sell and get rich off of. keep it up, and remember, I'll b R&Ring!

T.I.R

The Incurable Romantic

I've done a lot of reading, and this is truely one of the best and most touching stories I have ever read. It brings back a lot of really good memories.

Thanks

Great story. I have never read a better story ever. I have never been able to focus on romantic stories, but I was on the edge of my seat, (or cloth that gary uses lol) the whole time! Thanks for writing!

This is a beautiful story. It is tasteful and believable.. I liked how there were 2 perspectives, that made the story just.. Open up. Wow.

It is a verry emotional story and I like it a lot. I'm wating for more :)

This story reaffirmed my decision to wait for the right girl, the one I truly love... Thank you so much for writting this.

The best most realistic story i have read on literotica. Keep up the great work. Thank you for showing the value of waiting for the perfect person.

This is the most touching, well-written, and incredibly sexy story I've ever read here. It's a real art, blending emotionally-charged writing and totally hot sex like that. Bravo, bravo!

Wow! That was the most... sensual, realistic story I've ever read. Sex means so much, and most other stories don't portray that anywhere near as well. It's not just a one-night stand either, a true relationship started by sex. Thanks so much! Keep writing.

Beautifully written, not so much as a porn story than as a love story.

I Been lookin 4 sonthing like this for ages.

The writing was so beautiful and so true. The characer development in such a short piece was astounding! Aworth-while read simply literarily. The exquisite awkwardness of conversation and of thought. Finally, an accurate portrayal of two human beings desiring EACH OTHER and not just RELEASE. This story gives confidence to all who read it. Someone sees me as beautiful, unobtainable, desirable. Someone is dreaming of me.

Very touching. I didn't even skip to the good parts.

This is the way every story on this site should be: Amazing, touching, and you feel the bond between the two charaters

That was amazing. One o fht ebest stories ive ever read and ive read alot. I hope you write more like this they're wonderful. I mean the relationship was great and the sexual tension was astounding.

Thank you for bring back the memory of my first love. I was that average girl that fell in love with the smart and shy guy. Reading this story brought tears to my eyes and a smile to my face, I loved it. Your character could be any two people in any place in the world, and yet they spoke to me on a personal level. To me that is the true mark of a good story. Congratulations on a story well done.

I wish more stories (both fictional stories and real-life stories) were like this.

Beautifully written...actual characterization...this story was absolutely fabulous and captured the essence of losing one's virginity.

Really nice - well written and with interesting and well developped characters. The only problem I have with it is that you developped the chars so well that I was expecting a sequel - especially since Kath is mentioned as having an inventive sexual personality, I'd like to see more of that ;)

i am 52 years old and i thought i was to old to be moved to tears by a well written story.thankyou. marcus.

The entire story was absolutely consuming. I only wish my experience would have been that moving. I could actually feel my heart longing for the two lovers. Amazing!

Beautiful is about the only thing that can be said, apart from incredible, wonderful, heavenly, emotional reading.

This was a master piece.. You described everything that I wanted love and sex to be. This was just an incredible piece of work..

One of the best stories I've read on Literotica or anywhere. Well-written, erotic, and moving-- everything it should be. Thanks for this.

This was one of the best stories i have read on this site.

I couldn't turn my head from it, not even for one second. It was Beautiful and well written. Thanks

This is what I hope My first experience is like. I am one of those people that believe that sex never is "just sex". Great job helping us to experience the emotions right along with the characters. Amazing job, very well written....amazing

Yes this is a really good tender story, it beautifuly shows the emotions of both characters. I wanna have sex like that! And i'm certainly going to check out your other stories - right now infact. Big thanks for this one x

Like Kathleen, I'm technically not a virgin due to an overzealous vibrator experience. Haha Well that's a complicated issue in itself. Anyway, I wanted to thank you, MLyons, for writing such a realistic and yet very touching and romantic story about two kids looking for love... I think that's what we all are, deep down. Keep up the good work!

I don't know how, but you managed to convey those feelings that the rest of us just can't find the words to describe. One of those things that makes you reconsider past decisions and actions... thank you.

This is the most beautiful thing I have ever read. Though I do believe "I Love You" should be quoted, it would make it that much better. None the less, your skill is amazing!

That was definetly the best I have ever read on Literotica. It wasn't just Sex, but the emotions surrounding it.

100% amazing. It was beautifully written, the characters were real and thorough. It carried all the awkwardness and confusion of the first time. It's the best story I've read on the subject.

...that was simply stunning. I mean it. I've never read anything quite like it. Bravo!

This story is the most beautiful, most touching story I've read on here. The first time I read it, I cried. It has become a must for me to read this everytime I come on. I want to compliment you on your amazing talent to capture human emotions. Its absolutely fantastic.

Great story. Loved it. Wish my first time was that memorable.

Off the scale... best I have ever read ....

mmmm ?????? Want to say more but, you have said it all.

Thanks,

George Ray

Just, thank you.

Beautiful beyond words. I hope I will experience something like this one day, with a guy who has the same kind of pure, gentle soul.

You should honestly try to consider getting this story published!!! It captured my heart about sex all over again, the excitement and curiousity of innocent attraction to one another...i remember how i felt these emotions in highschool. Thank you so much for the reminesce. Take care of yourself :)

..and i mean it. The emotions and the characters are so indescribibly beatiful. I hope my first time will be similar to this. Thank you.

god that was the BEST story i have read on here.. the emotions you captured.. It was beautiful and sexy... :)

Your story captures the most purest of emotions that one can feel. Its just the right mixture what the story is like.

Keep it up, do try to publish this work... Its good

Do share other stories with me.

hotice_vice@hotmail.com

Thanks...

this was the first story i read on here, and i keep reading other stories for more of this excitement, but none gets better than this. The build-up is intense, the characters are captured so vividly..i loved it!

I so well recognise the asshole the guy is being, recognise the shyness, the emotions, the excitement, the embarrassment of having a hard-on, hoping they wouldn't feel it, the misconceptions about girls, even when they practically spell it out and shout it to you, what they want. Only thing is, I wasn't with such determined girls. So when I, after feeling so embarrassed about my hardon, anounced, that I had to leave, they didn't stop me and I left, leaving them behind, maybe thinking: 'You fucking asshole, why don't you stay and do me? I know, that's what you want!' And asshole I went home and thought about the whole thing, thinking: 'If I had stayed and gone on, I could have fucked her. I should've stayed and fucked her!'

How many chances do you want? I got several and didn't take them. That underlines how big of an asshole I was.

The story was tremendously told.

Yow! Started reading this on ym lunch break and now I'm late for work! Amazing! Great job!

i'm not the only one who doesn't care about big tits! yah! also, amazing story.

I am a rather experienced reader of erotic short-stories, and many other stories on literotica are also very hot, and well written. But no story i have ever read captured the feelings so intimately as this one. The way it's told from both points of view is so extremely sensual, and just made me read on in amazement. Now it's 3.45 in the morning (gmt +1), and I might only catch 3 hours of sleep before going to school, but this story is sure worth it!

/Morten

Sometimes you find a story that deserves a 6 this one is a 7, best to date (for me anyway)

At first I saw the numerous pages and thought it wasn't going to be worth it but this story was hands down the best I have ever read.

This is the most beautiful story on this website. I never thought I'd be able to bring myself to read a literotica story over two pages long, but I just couldn't stop reading this one! It was so beautiful I almost cried!

I hungered but never expected to find wholesomeness or fullness in the gritty jungle of eroticism, but it comes like a cold glass of inspiration into the dim world of the cocooned. That's all you need, really, to escape and live beyond the modern surface world of cynicism to something more human, the idea that that something exists, the aid of your articulate imagination, thanks.

I have to say.

This is the most beautiful story, ever.

It was perfect.

All kudos to you.

I love everything about the story. One of the best! TankQ for writing this.

You've crafted a beautiful story. It's obvious how much love and affection you pour into your writing. Thank you for sharing.

I loved it, I thought it was really sweet and wish guys could be like that in real life. I also liked how you dedicated it to your wife.

...but I'd have liked there to be rather more of it. Where does life take this couple next?

I just wrote my first story for the site thinking it was great. Now i read yours and realised just how much more there is to write. It was everything I wanted to express and more. Amazing.

This was beautiful, on here you mainly find vulgar stories but this was amazing. It actually made me cry it was just fantastic.

This is a SUPERB story of budding romance. The long stop-and-start development of the relationship between these two young people gives a beautiful foundation for some GREAT SEX. The interplay between emotional needs and delicate shyness is splendidly described. We do SO want them to get it on, but to remain the sweet, virginal young adults we get to know and to have real affection for. The future of their loving? Who knows? But they start in perfect sweetness. Thank you for a great tale!

Lovingly envisioned, lovingly written - a true masterpiece of the "First Time" genre!

Wonderfully written; nothing too grotesquely erotic and the beauty of lovemaking is perfectly portrayed.

Is pathetic. Seriously. He was a whining loser throughout that whole story.

Much more believable than other stories out there. He might be a whining loser, but don't tell me you weren't one in high school.

Really, this is one of if not the best story I've read on this site. I adored it. It was absolutely beautiful. I hope your others are just as good!

Simply...beautiful.

Well written and quite believable. A very good erotic short story that avoided the inevitable cliches. Thanks for the memories!

this was an amazing story. you really captured the emotions and actions of Gary and Kathleen well. great job!

I don't normally comment but here I felt a need to;

This is a masterpiece. The uncertainty and 'reality' of Kathleen and Gary really makes them seem like real people, not like flawless mannequins found in other vulgar and trashy stories; this is the antidote to such things. Really sweet and sincere, just amazing, especially how you capture the natural beauty of individuals... definitely one of the very best stories on the site, well done.