by fanficnut
You forgot to use your spellcheck when you completed your draft.
A good story of an Amazon was spoiled by poor punctuation. Have you an editor?
I didn't bother finishing the story because I was put off by the bad grammar and spelling.
Seriously if your going to post a story at least make sure that it read right. This whole thing reads like something a five year old would write for their scholl holidays. 8 out of 10 for effort, 2 out of 10 for content.
HEY,
EVER HEARD OF PROOF-READING ?
YOU HAVE A GREAT IDEA FOR A STORY BUT PLEASE HAVE SOMEONE PROOF-READ IT !
Are you trying to write it as if she was the author? The story is so poorly written, I couldn't get by the first couple paragraphs.