by sandspike
The light-hearted humor wonderfully contrasts the formal structure. Well done, Spike!
I thought about trying to write one of those too
but I don't like mine, I loved yours <grin>
love the beach play, hehehey! nice~
I think you're right, Boo bested you with this form.
But I'm giving you a 5 anyhow; it's a damned hard form to do well. I've never succeeded with it.
And, well, there was some really nice stuff here.
you just make me wanna jump in the car and head for the coast, thank you, this is a wonderful. bouyant diversion ;)
You worked this really well. I've done a couple myself using repetition, and loved the rhythm of yours.
Great job. ;-)
The form, the scene, spot on.
Form's done so well that the scene flows seamlessly, strengthening both.
Spending time at the beach and writing about it ~ not the worst way to go.