All Comments on 'Blood Love Ch. 03'

I enjoyed your story very much and hope you write more.

Fairly good. A simple story, this one. But romantic. Glad to see you've avoided porn language. Hope to see more.

I loved the pacing of this chapter, but not the length (too short compared with first two chapters). I am in suspense about what the brother is suspecting, and that's the only reason I'm willing to move onto Chapter 3. You see, just the fact that it's a brother-sister, taboo thing isn't enough to get me excited enough to turn the page. You need each chapter to move along the plot (or subplot). At the end of Chapter 2, I find myself asking: Does Christian discovered that his sister loves him, as in romantic love? Why does Alexia wonder if Christian might "disown" her? I would think of the word "disown" in terms of their parents -- or "disown" would make sense if Christian found out that Alexia actually loved the scumbag ex-boyfriend who'd been cheating on her (no matter what gender he'd been cheating on her with). ... Another commenter was glad you didn't use "porn language." I noticed in a previous chapter that you used the word "fuck." Word of advice: Figure out if you want or don't want to use "porn language." With or without curse words, the actions of your characters are hot with a capital "H." Perhaps what that commenter referred to as "porn language" adds a raw tone to a story, and it's totally up to you whether you want to give it to us raw. Personally, yes, I would love the narrator's voice and the characters to use "porn language" -- but I might be in the minority on that. Then again, your omission (except for the aforementioned "fuck") lends your chapters a stripped-down, back-to-basics -- in an almost Adam & Eve way -- eroticism. You know, like, brother-and-sister-as-one or sister-created-in-brother's-own-image. I get a hard-oon (and I'm a woman) from just the thought that the narrative voice is that of an expelled parishioner who now writes erotica. ... Overall, your novel/novella is engaging. Keep up the good work.

I said the first chapter called for a continuation, then I became very happy there was, and more than one !

But this is somewhat too short again. Nevertheless, the whole lot is well written and very enjoyable, THANKS !

I Still have some to read, yeah !