All Comments on 'A Fantasy Fulfilled (Sort of)'

The immature language (tit first and foremost) wrecked what was shaping up to be a hot story. Choice of words is so important when writing an erotic story, it can really make the difference.

my lover did the same thing for me only the guy was 10

inches long an fucked me for 2 hrs , i came 6 or 7 times an

loved it an still am fucking him an a couple of other guys with big cocks weekly , im 36 an tpe out at 36dd 36 42 with a big a ass becky that was one hot story

Where are all these braindead non-erotic pitiful husbands with short dicks for grey matter. But, you gotta love their wives and thier author controled humiliation of male figures.

So author, when does the dispicable husband get his fairness so she can watch?? Oh, thats right - he loves the respect of being cuckolded!!! Suspect you can do better - selfishly we hope so!!!

was that here, as in life, the age and experience of the older husband came to the fore. Other than that, yeah, same bullshit "heres my wife, mother of my kids, whose mouth I kiss, all laid out right here on this bed! Anyone want a crack at her?" type of story.

I agree with the other poster that the language used was rather maudlin, very little "voice" or style to it. If you wish to continue writing might I suggest you try looking at some of the other writers here? (I can suggest a good list) See how they develop a style. I can tell many writers here without even looking at the top just by the way theyuse words and their style.

Unsexy, unbelieveable, UNtil you learn to write past the fetish which you get off on, but no one else is, there is going to be the reactions from readers you are getting. "Jill" has no merit in the story besides your saying males who would hump a blow up doll want her. That is not appealing. She has to be wanted by the reader then perhaps they will give better feedback, but that will also take more effort than you sitting in a chair watching.

hey dont listen to these guys...that was a great story. im a college aged kid and i dream of something similar happenini to me one day. hopefully ill be luck enough

This was a very good story in many respects. One thing you might do to improve it is slow down the pace of the sex, put in a bit more detail, etc., instead of making it feel rushed (to read). Also, perhaps draw out the contrasts in the wife's and her young lover's ages a bit more. Overall, though, I enjoyed reading about the young stud and the sexy wife.

My wife and i had only been married around two years when my 14yo nephew came to stay with us for the weekend.We only had the one double bed and a single bed in the corner.After we had been in bed for about half an hour i suggested he got into our bed,which he did.My wife was 5ft tall and he and i were around 5ft 6in.It took about an hour of fooling around when he finished up on top of my wife fucking his cock into her.We all enjoyed it so much he came to stay with us every weekend for the next 3 months until we moved away and brought a house which was to far away for him to ride his bike.

1 Star

Lame cuck crap.

26thNCuck Disapproved