All Comments on 'Aero'

and I was not familiar with your work, I'd still be terribly impressed by this piece of writing, and I would gush over it. This is simply magnificent. It left me breathless. Though, I'm wondering about the use of puzzle.

I really wanted to say it was crapola, but it's too damn good. This is one of my new favorites of yours.

Your poem has been mentioned in the New Poem thread at the poetry board.

I hit a couple of "bumps" for me in this one.

The use of "architect" as a verb was a little on the "too much" side, for me...

And then when I came to:

"The elation of anticipated looks,

"the beginning of novels, if I want it to." ...

Well, at that point my mind was looking for an antecedent to "it" and couldn't find it, and the altered repetition of the phrase later didn't really help much.

Still, I was enthralled by your tenacity in knowing what needed to be said, and saying it.

The interjection of "prose poetry" in formal lines was a new and exciting twist for me.

Thanks for another fine read.

Such a lovely merging of prose and more traditional free verse, if one can put it that way. And it's cohesive and I love the ending, which of course I understand. ;) xxxooo

Wow! Faster and faster....I couldn't believe how wonderfully that flowed. The entire poem was a very enjoyable read. You did great! Gotta love a killer ending. Awesome!

I really like this, especially this part:

"...and each hour weaves a long web of minuscule minutes and it's not until I'm inside the plane that I realise I have been holding my breath and that my heart has been beating faster and faster and faster and then the comfort of the window seat and the flight program and faster and faster and faster and then the roar of the engines and then..."

I can just hear the whispery soft, melodic voice, almost breathless from saying all that in one breath, in my head while reading that part, and it's beautiful.

I love how you represent constant beginnings in this poem. Nothing ends. I love the images of creating, building from something linear and yet subjective; crossing land, sea, and time (no clock), something within the self and beyond. I love the change of pace; breathless and long, deep breath. I like the dichotmy of light (sun-architect) and dark (chaos-puzzle) and emergence from one to the other on multiple levels and throughout the poem.

As always, beautifully done. :)

First reading, it didn't spark much in me. Second, a little bit. Third, WOW! ~Imp

words in a row. yuk.

... you SHOULD try stacking them instead. :o)

Lauren,

This is soooo good... I don't really even like modern poetry but this one really grabs you!!

It took me a little while to get into the flow of this poem, I'm usually not a fan of modern poerty. I liked the way you described the 'planned chaos' of time in an airport. It reminded me of when I flew from London with Norfolk, VA as a final destination and our family dog was put on a flight to Bahrain at JFK in New York. (It all worked out OK though.)

As always, you never seem to catch me off-guard -amazing me with your beautiful mind. =*) Keep it up babe.

Jason

The structure here as words build up

Tension and conveys so well the excitement;

It's only really noticed when

While reading aloud

You come to the word, "Quietude"

A rather powerful piece.

A person anticipating a release from former concerns ~ the quietude of plane in flight ~ leisure time.