- All
Comments (6) - Add a
Comment
| Literotica Toy Store ADULT TOY & DVD STORE FAST & DISCREET |
Literotica XXX Webcams 24/7 LIVE CAMS - FREE PREVIEW W/AUDIO! |
Literotica Adult Movies STREAMING ADULT MOVIES PAY PER MINUTE |
| Literotica Toy Store ADULT TOY & DVD STORE FAST & DISCREET |
Literotica XXX Webcams 24/7 LIVE CAMS - FREE PREVIEW W/AUDIO! |
Literotica Adult Movies STREAMING ADULT MOVIES PAY PER MINUTE |
English
tongue tied
speechless, this was really good
and well thought out, twisting
and turning yet staying on track
an interesting read and an excellent poem~
Barren..
This is a great write.. I would do some changes break up into stanzas for a more powerful write. Also some repetition in wording.. play more with rhetoric...make it twist some like a worm getting into the readers mind.. for it already is in their soul.. the essence is outstanding, just a couple of changes will make it brillant..
good job..
du~
Wow!
I liked your other poem as well, but this one is amazing. I'm a poet myself and so I'm slightly more critical of poetry than I am about stories in general and this poem is one of the better poems I've ever read. There are no words to describe it.
~Molly
very very good
great set of words, thanks for writing
The space that is in your heart
A great few lines.
fabulous...
This is your best poem so far...congratulations
Click here to leave your own comment on this submission! or
Back to Empty, Barren Space or
More submissions by brightlyiburn.