speechless, this was really good
and well thought out, twisting
and turning yet staying on track
an interesting read and an excellent poem~
This is a great write.. I would do some changes break up into stanzas for a more powerful write. Also some repetition in wording.. play more with rhetoric...make it twist some like a worm getting into the readers mind.. for it already is in their soul.. the essence is outstanding, just a couple of changes will make it brillant..
I liked your other poem as well, but this one is amazing. I'm a poet myself and so I'm slightly more critical of poetry than I am about stories in general and this poem is one of the better poems I've ever read. There are no words to describe it.
great set of words, thanks for writing
A great few lines.
This is your best poem so far...congratulations
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