by velvetpie
I found the story interesting but there just wasn't enough to it. Perhaps going back over it and adding some more to it will help, as well as adding to the sex scene, there really wasn't much there.
I am amazed, and perplexed, that this counts as an illustrated story.
Started strong but ran out of steam. You can obviously write but I think this could've been longer & stronger. Not sure a cartoon cherry counts much towards illustration babe
Work on the illustrations or photos and more people will read your story. Since it's the illustrations section people tend to go into it expecting some great visual stimulation.
Most of the memories I use when I masturbate are pussy eating. When a lady first opens her thighs the view and musk are irresistible. Then I know she is mine to use. I can spend an entire afternoon eating out hot pussy. The fact that Kentucky was the setting didn't hurt either. My mother was a Kentucky girl and I've had my share of KY pussy. I was born in Indianapolis but it seemed that half the population was Kentuckian. Mom was from Jamestown, south of Lexington. Nice erection for my start of reading erotica and I have you to thank :-)) I'll throw in kisses placed around your own vulva. xxx's
Is that all? We (your readers) really NEED to know how Laurie reacts to this. Maybe Laurie used the mucus from her cold to coat his dick and Gina's asshole so that he can have her backdoor. It actually makes a pretty good lubricant even if it sounds gross. Does he get to go back to fucking his cousin? Does the fact that Gina wants him too tell us that they have become three? Tell us!
This is a situation par excellence.
I'm sure it can be taken a lot further and more sensually, erotically tha a slap, lick and lunge.
Keep it going, please.
Thanks for writing
worst story ever in this website. has a picture of a cherry and it is in illustrated section??