All Comments on 'Slutty Teen Enjoys Cum Shower'

There is nothing here to separate this story from the hordes of similar, basic style stroke stories. It's unfortunate too because you write well. Perhaps you are short on time or it's just for fun, but there is talent there and it's being wasted on stuff like this. But, as long as you're happy with it, it's cool. Hoping this criticism is constructive. Good luck.

SN

Wonderful fantasy

Wish I had been there myself, even if just to lick you clean.

Yes, longer more detailed would be nice.

But, please keep on writing about my favourite fetish.

You could definitely build anticipation by filling out the beginning of this story and the sex scene is much too short. With 11 guys you could really have worked up some interesting scenarios. You should definitely share more detailed descriptions of your main characters, too. My last suggestion is to have someone proof-read for you. Even if you use spell check (and you should), it can miss things. Keep practicing, though, because your writing does show promise.

More detail would be nice - the licking you clean is great I just wish I had been there.

With 11 horny teens alone with a willing girl, I would have liked to hear alot more dont to this little slut. They should have all taken turns on her in that locker room with maybe even more boys hearing the news and walking in and enjoying the fun as well.....owell try again please. :)

should raped yout

i would like to drink cum ,would love to suck cock and feel the cock at back of my throat and feel the hot cum flow down throat.i love to take two or three cocks at a time inside the mouth and keep sucking till all of them shoot their loads inside my mouth.i love to takke cock and balls deepinside mouth and shag them fromside and drink the cum

This is a great, quick little read. Your imagination is stimulated. NICE JOB!

As to the fools that want more - get a life.

As to the one that wants rape - you apparently don't have a woman or children or know anyone who has been raped. Same as above, get a life.

Great story but you could have used all those cocks better. Write another chapter when she gets even more special treatment - she needs more than one cock in her at a time - or maybe a friend to join her so everyone can join at once.

You seem like such a nice girl ....!!!