by lengthylarry
I really liked the idea of the story. But it really tailed off in the end. It was almost as if you were in a hurry to write it. Still, it was ok.
Actually it was better than 75, but not 100. Id like to see a ch 2 on this and expand into anal.
There was a lot of time building up to him deflowering the virgin girl, and in less than a paragraph it's over and done with...
I kinda feel like the end was rushed just to call it done. Not even a "to be continued" to give a hope of more to come.