All Comments on 'Cabin by the Lake'

This is a terrific story. A must read.

A nice hot story although I'd like to know where old Paul was hanging out. Good job on the flashback and flashforward. Best of luck in the contest.

Great story. Love the flash-back to the brother. Just made me want to be your brother.

It was good. The only thing I would suggest is maybe making the flash back in a different font to distinguish it from present time. I must shamefully admit that I got lost once. Keep writing!

Hmmm I'd sure like to be Paul for a while!!!!!! Just to see if I could make you climb those mountains again!! You write a great story honey, Keep it up. But write a 2nd chapter and let us know where Paul is and where you found your new hideout and with whom you hide!!!

Great story - I loved it.

Yeah, just a small clue needed before the flashback.

Lukas

So where is Paul? Are we going to hear more? Curious... :)~Minx

Melancholically real (Paul is supposed to be dead?). A great little story.

since you posted it in the incest area it should have been totally about the sibs not just one remebering the past. kind of ruins the flow and feeling of the story when the idiot writer doen't know what the heel they are doing.

Beyond stupid.

Over all I would rate this a 2 out of 10 it had a good start but went to pieces after the brother part what would have helped would be have the brother come back and stay in the picture as her lover but with the way you wrote it I can not see much in it that redeams it to me please try to think about the ending better and when you are writingin a certain part like incest try to make the bulk and hopefully ending about that

You totally left us up in the air. Colin is pretty much of a mystery, but Paul really is. All you really tell us is that Paul is her brother, average penis, works out but is still slim Oh, yes, and he has incredible stamina in bed. What happened to him? Where did he go? She talks like he is dead, but never says it. Colin sounds like a Neanderthal man, but a nice guy who is just being used. She dreams of Paul as she fucks him. Not fair. You give us a couple of tableau's into her life but they're not admirable. She fucks with Colin's head about fishing, she's a downer about being at the cabin even though it is her idea, she has fond memories of fucking Paul but only describes doing it once, she has her mind on Paul while with Colin and compares penises as well as performances unfavorably for Colin. Then she dumps him.

Well, you got both pros and cons. I Agree with both. You have written a good story. Rather than add chapters to it, I'd suggest going back to it with a rewrite. Fill in about Paul, maybe even bring him back somehow in the end, or give Collin another chance to improve his stamina. Give us some more depth in your characters. Show us they both want you. Keep writing.