All Comments on 'White Weapons'

Such words!! I can only wish that I were able to write like this.

just about sums it up. Your words leave this poet speechless. Thanks

IN A NUT SHELL...that's it...totally freakin' awesome!

kisses,

T

You've always had a way with style, a level of metaphor that is really compelling and that makes me envious. This is no exception. In fact, my initial gut level reactin tells me this is one of your better ones. Thanks for the experience.

did the bull horn the bat in a cave with cotton mouths? The dove made love to the lion! I got all kinds of GREAT images from this poem, but none are probably the right ones <grinin> Zen master poetress poetry is a tad bit deeper than a country boys river <smile> I enjoyed your poem!

to the construction of this piece. it's very articulate and with a voice that carries. this is my fave spot:

He slices them through caverns

and catches each virgin in the mystery

of the water that streams from fountains,

illuminating the mouths of serpents.

Lovely structure and images.

I have read your poem at least 20 times and thought hard before responding. I don't understand it at all. At first I thought it might be about Patrick White, then bats then possibly a tribute to someone. I can't connect. But am I supposed to understand or are the words supposed to work much as an impressionist painting might?

The other comments talk of structure, images, and metaphor but mostly speak of their appreciation rather than what they appreciate, so I can't see through their 'eyes ' either. Could you give some guidance about how one should read/interpret/understand/ respond to your poem . Thank you

because I understand where ozymandiask is coming from. Even though I'm not completely sure what's happening in this poem, I'm enthralled.

Yes, a tightly woven piece.

Despite an overtendency to use linguistic and /or poetic terms

Arena, anaphora.

this works so well in the context.

Despite a tendency here also, to be overdramatic, i.e title, "Red is the moon of the inaugural night." it does work well

and can be forgiven.

This can't:

"Of destiny"

It screams self-importantance, and accents the worst tendencies of the rest of it with it.

But, that is just my humble opinion.

Thank you all for the comments and feedback, here and in email. I truly appreciate it.

I am currently attempting to write a short essay on hyperlyricism, surrealism, and phonetic kabbalah - self-important as that may sound - that has been fascinating me and influencing my latest experiments, and that I hope will help clear some of the doubts you expressed. At the very least, I hope that putting on the metaphorical paper some of the concepts I have been exploring will help clear some of my own doubts about the process.

Please be patient. :)

Thank you all again.