All Comments on 'Al·Gharb·1'

some of your stuff goes right over my head.

: )

I loved the language is this and the words and pictures went together wonderfully.

~I speak

of mountains vigilant expectant

where memories draft themselves

in barren sub aqua undergrowth~

great stanza

Thank you

Your poem has been mentioned in Monday's New Poems Reviews.

besides the photo being lovely, the poem itself is filled. I absorbed it, let it absorb me, I felt time and time stood still for just a moment.

Love the sea, Lauren, beautiful work.

Did you take the photo? It's incredible. The poem is too. :)

>>>> by the inexorable pulse of time <<< (

this line alone stands in time~

the poem in whole >>> excellent~

This 'whole ' has a disciplined mystic nature/quality which is difficult to capture in words but encourages the reader to try.

The vivid descriptions and the photo both complement each other perfectly to create a scenic masterpiece.

Impressive!

beautiful, provacative, enlightened, serene. Something I wish I had written.

~Syn

I speak as an illogical resonant vegetable perhaps, but fail to see the greatenss of this.

"illogical resonant vegetable" strikes me as a joke phrase, but I see no humour

here you have a contradiction with no apparent reason, barren undergrowth, I see not other contradictions here

"in barren sub aqua undergrowth I speak"

caravels polished in shadow is great, cheapened by metaphor

"metaphor of caravels polished in shadow"

and this is just terrible as an end line

"by the inexorable pulse of time"

as always i am speechless...

-because this was something people asked about in email as well:

"Illogical", "resonant", and "vegetable" are, all three of them, adjectives, doubly qualifying the "stone" before them, and the "metaphor" afterwards. The intent of using the word "vegetable" was to transmit the idea of "living", "always changing". The "sub aqua undergrowth" line from the previous stanza was already in preparation for that image.

I'm sorry for not having foreseen "vegetable" could be misunderstood as a noun, but the word doesn't have that eat-your-vegetables connotation in Portuguese. It simply refers to all relating to plant life.

I have the benefit of your clarification before commenting! I love this poem, Lauren, and the image strengthens it even more. I wonder if "organic" wouldn't work better for "vegetable." I agree with 1201 about the last line; it seems to cliche for such an otherwise strong piece.

Great photo good poem.Lovely combination

Vegetables does have a broader usage but perhaps more in English English than American English as in:

"My vegetable love would grow vaster than Empires" etc.

Australian usage is even different given our penchant for infantilising abbreviation. What you eat is a veggie never a vegetable. A vegetable is usually some one who has lost the use of their mind or more bluntly an idiot.

Another example of many

Of Lauren's quality work

Stark black and white photos

So well woven to her writing.

A hauntingly beautiful picture ~ stark and naked in its beauty.

This poem was mentioned in the Archival Review thread, in a picking through Lit's archive of over 34,000 poems.

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