All Comments on 'Family Fun Begins Ch. 01'

by carrieoct15

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  • 6 Comments
AnonymousAnonymousalmost 19 years ago
Proofread before you submit

The premise of the story is OK, but errors in grammar and punctuation are distracting and keep the story from flowing. Let the story sit for a day and re-read it. You'll find most of the errors.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 19 years ago
Hoping more to follow

Great Story! Looking forward to more. This is hot!

AnonymousAnonymousover 15 years ago
JGC!

Why don't u people stop & read the damn story OUT LOUD b4 u submit the thing 2 Lit? If it sounds 'funny' 2 u, then, maybe u might stop & correct some of the more OBVIOUS mistakes! I like porn as much as the next guy but some of this stuff is so bad, I might turn 2 the Old Testament & start reading about all the 'begats' (which is O.T. 4 fucking.).

goducks111goducks111over 4 years ago
fun, sexy story

a little short, but a lot of fun! good set-up for a few more chapters

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

short, but fun. Leaves a lot to look forward to and all the possible situations.

MADDOGINTEXASMADDOGINTEXASalmost 2 years ago

Thank you to the other readers who have pointed out the "shortcomings" with the grammar, etc of this story...

I like the premise, the 'idea'...but, I cannot support reading any more of this. I am done, barely got 3 stars...it is too bad the quality was so poor...

Anonymous
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