All Comments on 'The Sea'

...smiles. And quotes the master, "And then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise upon your lips."

~A

Welcome to Litpoetry! A nice visual write

du lac~

Sabina

'A line on the shore

Between us I drew

But you are the sea

Your waves laughingly erase my efforts'

I liked this. :)

Simply lovely

~ J

But nicely done. The first stanza is very good, but the sudden intrusion of the unexpected "shell" in the final line of the poem weakens it for me. Perhaps another stanza is needed in the middle to set up what you are that has a metaphoric shell?

I don't know what. Beautiful sentiment, the emotions come through quite well, but it just needs...more. Kisses! ~Minx

Loved it up to the last line.

Maybe that's just me.

Great poem.

nice start but,,IMHO it needs a last line ..something like "forever I orbit around your shore...to give it more impact...just a thought..bluerains

dig it.........don