All Comments on 'Born Again Virgin'

by Wanton Vixxxen

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  • 22 Comments
AnonymousAnonymousalmost 19 years ago
A Goddess in Distress...

...Let's all set our shower heads to stun!

Heart palpitations and clit paralysis is a combination you can't beat!

...and teaching the grandkids the value of sharing, be it catheter bag or pencils is important in thier formitable years.

...and I think we're all very happy that you are no longer a virgin again, again.

ManuvLaManchaManuvLaManchaalmost 19 years ago
My Lady Laura,

I was thrilled to read that your virtue had been restored to you, then dismayed to find that it was taken away so quickly again. You could have been my Lady Dulcinea, but then she wasn't a Goddess. (Well, I'm not really sure because I only met her once and she had a handle on the thugs that wanted to, you know, all the time.)

Sancho thinks that vegetables and fruit and a woman's privates should be mutually exclusive. His wife Teresa has assured me that isn't the case.

Maybe that's why his always soup tastes funny.

BrutalBabiBrutalBabialmost 19 years ago
Oh Dear...!

I think back to last year... I had to have a C-section to get my stubborn little boy out (hanging from my ribs by his feet, just to make it impossible) I had the barely controllable urge to tell them to rip it all out, cuz I wasn't going through THAT again. Reading this, gives me yet one more reason to be thankful I was too drugged up to get the words out. :-) Loved reading every word, from start to finish, thank you for sharing.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 19 years ago
Virginity found and given...SEXCELLENT!

Bless your heart...and your plumbing! This was an excellent way to vent frstrations and give hope to people who might find themselves in similar situations (but we wouldn't wish that on anyone would we?)

Once again, you are a word-mistress, making even the horrifying tale into one of humor and hope.

I admire your courage to share your story. You did so brilliantly. I hung on every word. I refreshing read indeed! I am thankful that you are on the mend. :)

<wink>

~Ash

My Erotic TaleMy Erotic Talealmost 19 years ago
Virgintastic~

I laughed, I cried <well almost> I felt sorry for ya and I loved the way you look at lifes dealings, and spun a marvelous story. I think we all visited the oracle a time or two, laughing. A virgin again? You could probably sell your new virginity on E bay <grin> okay, thanks for the laugh and more importantly ...hang in there ...WANTON-MOM~

.....virgin <BIGrin> (~_*)

dcpoet44dcpoet44almost 19 years ago
that pencil....

and banana......like the desparation effect you created. hell forbid that i'd have any surgery of any kind in my area of pleasure. i probably wouldn't be able to wait to get home.......*LMAO*. i just loved this story right from the beginning to the very end. i've got an eighteen wheeler at the shop if you need one.....nice memento......*LOL*.......don

Many FeathersMany Feathersalmost 19 years ago
Vixx baby...

You did it again. This was indeed (and shall remain) <As I still do BTW> a classic. I laughed, cried...and yes, got aroused reading this one kiddo. This is indeed a true piece of hysterical art at its best.

From one born again virgin to another...well, used to be born again virgin anyway, I salute you! And you know what kind of salute I'm talking about.

And though I no longer am, nor will be Thesandman, I will remain, Your Man of Sand, and aka "Many Feathers" So drop by and see me some time.

Beam_of_liteBeam_of_litealmost 19 years ago
Your friend and mine

Many feathers directed me to this story....so many many emotions in this story...hell honey I would give it a 10 if I could...I have seen a few friends suffer a similiar fate and cannot wait to share your story with them..Glad to know you are re-born again...now I need to go read your other stories!!!!

AnonymousAnonymousover 18 years ago
Born again Virgin: fantatsic!!

This story was both erotic, and funny!

Obviously a major writing talent!

Keep up the good work!

LeBrozLeBrozover 18 years ago
Laughter is the Best Medicine

Damn - top score only is 5 (100) - maybe they'll let me vote 2 or 3 times.

I can't remember the last time I laughed so much. What a wicked sense of humor. Had to stop too many times to catch my breath, dry my eyes (hell on tissue supply), and regroup before reading further.

I was beginning to wonder if I could EVER finish this piece before it finished me first in paroxysms of gut-wrenching laughter.

This should be at the top of the humor heap --- the best.

AnonymousAnonymousover 18 years ago
Sweeeeeeeeeeeeet.

That was great. Banana stuck to the cell phone and to the ear and getting rid of the unwanted stuff down there. I cried I laughed so hard.

Thanks

AnonymousAnonymousabout 18 years ago
~

I laughed so hard I'm sure I must have lost a pound or two reading this story... not to mention your seemingly effortless writing style. Thank you for the giggles!

EmJ0385EmJ0385about 18 years ago
Thanks for the cure!!

Leon sent me such a wonderful thank-you note to one of my comments. He insisted that I ABSOLUTELY had to read this [and the other of his favs]. I can't remember the last time I laughed so hard. I only hope I can have such a wonderful response to a docs bad news. Now I just MUST add this as one of my favs.........AND tell my friends about this!!!!! Emily

PatHous56PatHous56about 18 years ago
What a way to recover your virginity!

This piece is so funny; I almost want to go see my own doctor right now and get my own virginity restored (not really)! This really says a great deal of your strength of character; the idea of making lemonade when life hands you lemons doesn't come close to describing the outlook you share here. And I'm sorry; I know it's a serious subject for a woman to confront but I couldn't stop laughing. And after reading your poem - which was quite a stark contrast - I must say that you've got some really wonderful writing talent. Let it go to your head; I think you've more than earned the praise (and a new favorite). Patricia

OSoBuffOSoBuffabout 18 years ago
Thanks for the suggestion.

I took your suggestion and read this piece of yours. So funny, I'm afraid it ruined my morning workout. Now I'll have to work all the harder on tomorrow's morning drill!!! My only question is, since the event happened some time ago, when did you become legal---at 18 or 21??? Anyways, I laughed so hard on this I cried, but I did manage to print it out so I can share this piece with my soon-to-be lifetime date!!!

CaPic267CaPic267almost 18 years ago
OMG !!!!!!

It's taken me an hour to recover from reading this story. Leon told me to give it a try ((better late than never-now I always listen when he speaks)) so I set down on the floor with my laptop and a case of hysterics. My little one kept looking on in amazement, she's never seen me laugh so much. I needed this so badly. Thank you, thank you, thank you!! CP

SweetDealSweetDealalmost 18 years ago
Caused a run on my tissue box!!!

Read this last night and laughed so hard I couldn't stop cryin'. Just hope I can be so positive -- about makin' lemonade whenever life gives me a lemon -- bound to happen at some point. Just have to steer clear of bananas!!

sereneflutistsereneflutistalmost 17 years ago
You've created a new genre fan.

I don't usually read the Humor and Satire submissions and I'm honestly not sure what possessed me to click on your story, but that was quite possibly the funniest thing I've ever read. To be sure, I will be visiting this index far more often!

wantsomefun1951wantsomefun1951almost 15 years ago
Hilarious and erotic -- a precious combination

Being male, I cannot really understand the frustration you must have felt, although I laughed to the point of near-hysteria at your predicament. I had a brief affair many years ago with a woman who had had a vaginal hysterectomy five years previously, when she was in her late twenties. She described similar experiences, and claimed that, five years after the procedure, she was still tighter than she had been in her mid-teens. When we became intimate, I realized she was not exaggerating. She, however, did not have the sense of humor about it that you have, nor did she have the talent to tell about it so well. This was a priceless tale. Bless you, Goddess, for being able to find humor in your pain and struggle. Thank you, Goddess, for sharing it so brilliantly!

bruce22bruce22about 12 years ago
Well written and creative

Lots of very funny moments here! Now if you are into BDSM it should be even better. Not my dish but very well prepared here!

AngelscuckAngelscuckabout 11 years ago
Excellent

Excellent! I just discovered you. I am looking forward to reading the rest of your stories and poems.

OleguyOleguyalmost 10 years ago
I know I'm late.

Just discovered your tale and nearly laughed myself off the chair.

Tell me is it true the District Attorney is considering an indictment for cruelty to bananas AND phones?

As someone else said, 5* are not enough.

Anonymous
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