All Comments on 'Melissa, Our Roommate Ch. 02'

Speaking from the male point of view and with little experience on the subject, I never thought a woman with a dildo could be so arousing to a male.

Highly erotic, but needs more chapters. Melissa needs a lot more attention from you, so she does not smoke so much. Perhaps you can arrange a 3-some, or a little hankie-pankie behind Kelly's back until such time at least when Melissa's belly begins getting rounder. Perhaps the two women can alternate pregnancies and Melissa can give up having to find her own place?

Too fragmented. And when things began to flow, it's over. The section breaks are annoying. They disrupt any plot development. If the author seeks to pursue this talent - and he can write - he should work on continuity.

In a high school creative writing class, this would grade a C+. At uni, D-.

This was a good story except for the smoking. Chimneys are a real turn-off, and the idea that a house guest might smoke in your house is just disgusting. I actually stopped reading and gave up on it by the second occurrence. I can deal with a lot of stuff on the understanding that it's just fantasy, but a woman who smokes is just horrible.

Disgusting habit.