by DyingGunslinger
liked the idea of the plump sister but the story died a death half way through.need to be longer with more detail
I enjoyed your story, but it needs to be a little longer with more detail. I enjoy the premise of the story however and I think you should continue on with this story. Great writing takes time, don't let other people's comments discourage you from it.
I definitely would have given this 100 if it was longer. I love the description of your sister; definitely got me hard. I love the "g-spot up my ass" comment; would like to see that angle pursued more. Add another installment, maybe written from your sister's point of view ... and make it longer this time.
The only thing that might have saved this story would've been for him to get his comeuppance.
Yeah it was a good start. Needs to be continued though.
Ok so it lacked any realism, so what. It was hot and nasty, certainly good enough to get me hard. Cannot say the same about many of the supposedly better written storys.
So if your purpose in writting this story was to make a hot, but not a perfectly written one, well you certainly managed to.
Given that this story doesn't concern itself with realism, why worry about things like in depth character development and unprotected sex. Heck you could have certainly left the box of condoms out of the story. If it wasn't for them in part two you could have included unprotected sex between the tsister and brother, where the sister ends up pregnant at some point.
Again given the lack of focus on realism, in the next part both the sister and his girlfriend could have joined in a threesome with him. Of course that still could happen.
Oh well even if there is not any more parts to follow, it was still a hot story.
Nice start, terrible ending! Confusing from the middle on soon as Danielle climbed the stairs!
I wish I had a sister like that. I would have loved to have any hot girl want a cock up her ass that badly. Wishing I was you because it sounds like you really experienced this storyline!
only an asshole would treat a woman like that it is never good or sexy to make a woman beg for sex only a rapist would think this was a good story
An excellent piece of work. Pray post more, I feel you have a talent that needs airing.
Also, ignore the cocksuckers who critiscise the material. This being the incest board, no-one here is in ANY position to take the moral high ground.
Loved your story ! Was great to hear you have a 6 inch cock, not a 9 to 10 incher everyone claims to have. Obviously your sister has had anal sex before, would have liked to hear how you took her anal cherry, but still a great story !
A writer who sees relationships this insensitively has nothing to tell the world, except how coarse he is.
Girls don't have a g spot in their ass, just saying fake stuff like that really breaks the immersion.